Conflicting Feelings of Cake

Panic Attacks, Pep Talks & Pretty Boys

(Luke's POV)

My heaving chest, collapsing, as I took shattering breaths. My trembling hand stretched to burnish the salty liquid leaking from my bloodshot, yet still frozen eyes. Whilst attempting to hold back yet another sniffle I grazed my elongated fingers through my manufactured quiff. In a failing struggle to not pass out I ducked my head in between my knees, my back collapsing into the dressing room couch. I was so deep in my panic attack that I didn't hear my fellow band member, not to mention best friend, creak open the star strung door. I didn't even notice his presence until I felt his warm, muscled embrace around my lanky frame. His masculine arms pulled me into his chest as I continued to weep, dampening the collar of his vintage green day muscle tee. I should've been embarrassed, I'm a tall, seventeen year old guy, and I've done this multiple times before, but I still can't handle the nerves.

"Guys we're on in... Oh," upon hearing Ashton's voice I jerked up, separating myself from Calum, and made a vain attempt to wipe my salt stained face. I then felt Ash and Mikey join in for a group hug in an attempt to calm me. They were nowhere near as good as cuddling as Calum though. After a few minutes one of the stagehands came and practically dragged us towards the stage.

"Awww, Lukey you got my shirt all wet," Calum joked.

"Sorry Cal," I mumbled, still unwilling to go on stage.

"Ah, don't worry I'm just joking." He then proceeded to gracefully tug his shirt over his head, slightly messing up his quiff, and exposing his tan, muscly chest. No! Don't think like that! He's your straight best friend stop it! Thankfully my emotions subsided as he removed his black and white plaid from around his hips and buttoned it over his smooth abs. Agh!!! Stop getting distracted! Focus on the show.

We were playing the first song of the set, "Try Hard" and I was still nervous. My voice kept on coming out in squeaks and my hands were mumbling over the frets of my guitar. All I could hear was the monstrous crowd closing in, and the sound dude's drilling voice through in my earpiece. I was ready to just run of stage when I saw Cal walk over to me. He let Michael and Ashton carry on singing the chorus as he whispered in my ear.

"You alright?"

"Ah, no."

"Don't worry, whenever you're scared just look at me."

"Thanks." His face was so close I could've just leaned over and kissed him, but I held it in. For the rest of the show my voice didn't even waver once, I could barely hear the crowd, I just kept replaying his strong Australian accent over and over in my ear, and I was alright.