Blooming Passion •• Ryan Tedder {1}

What You Call Home

Ramona's P.O.V.

Ramona didn't know where to begin. She still made sure to keep her eyes off of Ryan. Besides, he's said that he can see her emotions easily. Maybe if he can't see her face, he can't see them.

"Ramona? What is it you wanted to talk about?" Ryan asked. It was almost in a clipped, irritated tone. Ramona got a very bad vibe, as if she hadn't been uncomfortable enough.

"You're still mad at me." She blurted. When she did, she closed her eyes in regret.

But Ryan, as sarcastic as he is, replied with the same attitude of implied annoyance, "No, it's fine. I get it. Your fiance abuses you and you still want to get back with him. He also wants to kill me. Noted."

She looked at him this time, his sarcasm stinging her. He had rolled his eyes and was not looking back at her. Past the small dark circles around his eyes from little sleep (Ramona wondered why) and the drying sweat on his forehead, Ramona saw a bit of anger.

"Okay, you're pissed. Got it." She grumbled. He looked at her seriously.

"I'm not pissed. I'm just very disappointed."

"Why?"

Ryan clearly hesitated. But he came out with it.

"I guess I'm gonna have to repeat myself with you, aren't I? He treats you like shit! I've never seen something this bad, especially someone so attached to someone who---who raped them! He lays his hands on you and you still want to be with him! You still want to 'go home' after this! Ramona, you need to realize that what you call home is the farthest from home you'll ever get!"

Ryan began to shake his head, looking away from her and putting a hand upon his face in frustration. Ramona was defensive and remorseful at the same time. Ryan muttered, "You're just not getting it."

Ramona accidentally let it slip, her thoughts so strong that she could not keep them inside her head.

"Ryan, I've been trying to ever since I met you!!"

Instantly, she pursed her lips and Ryan's head snapped up in a second as he looked at her with wide eyes. His peered into hers, one of her hands covering her own mouth when she realized her mistake, and it seemed like he was desperate to look into her soul and figure out what she really just said. Ramona hoped he couldn't, but now, it seemed he really had the ability to.

"Wait...what?" He asked, inspecting her. Ramona inhaled sharply, hoping he hadn't noticed that as well, and turned from him before he figured something out. She uncovered her mouth and shook her head, gulping nervously.

"Ramona, what do you mean? Since you met me?" Ryan pressed on. Ramona shook her head another time and fiercely looked at him, though her voice wasn't raised any longer.

"Ryan, forget it, okay? All I meant is that I've had a change in perspective since you stepped into my life. I'm conflicted...I...don't know what to do."

Ryan's frustrated and annoyed demeanor came back and he didn't ponder over what she had said much more now.

"You see, I'm having trouble understand what you're conflicted about," He put a hand out, stressing his point, "He abuses you. How many times do we all have to say it before it's finally drilled into your brain?!"

Ramona jumped as his voice got more harsh while he progressed.

"Ramona, you need to listen to me. You've been brainwashed by Shawn, okay? I want to help you see this, I'm trying, but you have to let me in!" He continued.

Ramona was losing her breath again.

"I know, I know! It's just...Shawn and I have history. I know a side that's far from who he is now, a side that's disregarded by anyone else who knew that too! I guess I have too much faith in him..."