Looks That Kill (Nikki Sixx FanFic)

Homecoming

"Winter!"

Bret's voice was shrill with excitement as soon as I walked through the door to his hospital room. Like an over active and well-mannered puppy, he wiggled where he sat as though he wanted to run over to me, but knew that he shouldn't. Rather, he lifted his arms and waved his fingers at me, beckoning me to come closer for a hug.

"Bret," I forced a smile, even though I felt like crying more than anything.

CC stood off to the side, his expression solemn and his eyes fixed on the linoleum floor. Rikki and Bobby stood beside him, beaming down at Bret, blissfully unaware of the tension that seemed to be radiating between CC and myself.

"You should be more careful," I scolded him as I glided to his bedside. "I don't want you over exerting yourself."

I had hoped that my warning would cause him to settle down, to make this easier for both of us. I didn't want him to be this excited to see me. It only made me think about how much harder this was going to be. Of course, my plan didn't work, and Bret disregarded my words with a wave of his hand.

"Oh, whatever Winnie. I'm fine," he insisted. "Now, come here and hold me. I've missed you."

I hesitated for a moment, not sure if cuddling would be the right thing to do at the moment. I didn't want to give him the idea that I still wanted to be with him by getting physical, but if I refused now, it would look suspicious and I would have to spill the beans in front of the whole band.

Reluctantly, I squished myself in between Bret and the hand railings on the side of the hospital bed. Once nestled there, Bret immediately leapt into my arms and cuddled up against me with a contented sigh. I tried to be a good girlfriend by holding the singer to my chest and stroking his hair, but the actions now felt foreign to me. In fact, Bret's whole being now felt like an enigma. It was as if I hadn't just spent months dating him and getting to know every inch of his body and soul.

If anything, all I could think of was how I had been tangled up in Nikki only hours before. Ironically, I now felt like I was cheating on Nikki rather than Bret. To me, that was even more evidence that this relationship had died the moment Nikki had stepped back into my life. I loved Nikki, and you can't help who you love.

"So, how have you been?" Bret asked me, sending tender kisses along my cheek. The heat of his breath caused me to shiver, and I gazed down at the foot of the bed, forcing myself not to look him in the eye. I was not a very good liar, and I feared that the truth might just escape me here and now if I saw the adoration that I knew awaited me in his loving eyes.

I shifted uncomfortably in my spot. "Worried."

A flash of heat against my cheek told me that he was laughing appreciatively, and his face soon fell into the crook of my neck. "I'm sorry if I worried you, Win. It won't happen again."

I frowned. CC caught my eye, and I saw the grim look on his face. He didn't notice me staring, as he was too busy examining the tiles in the floor. He had a far away look in his eyes, and I wondered where his mind had taken him to escape the awkwardness of this moment. More importantly, I wondered if it could somehow take me there as well.

"So, are you ready to go home?" I asked softly, eager to change the subject. I didn't want to hear anymore of Bret's apologies. They only made the guilt inside of me grow worse.

"Of course!" He bellowed, chuckling heartily. "I just have to sign myself out and we can head on home. Are you ready?"

I gulped. Once we arrived home, I would have to confess what had happened between me and Nikki. My lies would be forced into the light and I would have to purge my sins. My stomach did a strange little flip in my gut and I almost threw up my lunch from the anxiety. Still, I forced a smile and wrapped an arm around Bret's shoulders.

"Ready when you are."