ashes to ashes ➵ camren

11. this won't end quietly

Listen while you read - 'This Won't End Quietly' by We the Committee

"B—L—U—E..." Sofi spells out slowly, moving her finger across the decorative letters on the page. She sits next to Lauren on the floor, the only thing illuminating her bedroom is a small oil lantern. Lauren's sat with her ever night for a little over a week, helping the smaller girl learn how to read.

"Bl.... blue?" Sofi asks, looking up at Lauren hopefully. The green eyed girl smiles widely, nodding in excitement.

She high fives the girl and waits patiently as Sofi studies the next page. When she hears quiet footsteps approaching them, she gazes up at the doorway to find Camila watching them with a soft smile. Careful not to distract Sofi, Lauren motions for her to join them on the floor.

"The... the red.... house," Sofi sounds out her letters as Camila sinks down against the wall, seated beside Lauren. Her nervous eyes don't dare dart over to the green eyed girl. To be honest, she's unsure what kind of terms they're on.

The tension between them has only grown since the moment they shared in Lauren's bedroom the week prior. Neither of them had said anything about it afterwards. Granted, they rarely found time alone with each other.

It's a weird kind of tension, though. And both girls are well aware of it. It's magnetic, almost. Pulling them closer and closer together. There's boundaries they both don't want to cross, although they're aware that their shared kiss had probably passed all of them.

Camila wants to do it again. Lauren wants to do it again. The only problem is that they're both not aware of the other girl's intentions. Camila's not much of an overthinker, but Lauren is. And the green eyed girl sent herself into somewhat of a panic over the course of the week. Without even realizing it, she's distanced herself from Camila. She's afraid of letting things continue any further.

And so they've both had to settle for an awkward middle ground. But Lauren's not sure how much longer she can spend like this. She's well aware of Camila's eyes on her as she helps Sofi spell out another word, but she refuses to look up. She can't help but be both relived and disappointed when Camila kisses her sister goodnight and quietly slips back down the hallway.

Eventually, they finish the small book and Lauren high fives Sofi to congratulate her. In only a week, they girl has picked up quicker than even Lauren had when she learned to read. Lauren realizes that sometimes, all people need is resources. Sofi's incredibly smart, she knows that. Camila's younger sister has the capacity to learn to read, she just hadn't been give the chance. It makes Lauren wonder about the chances that she's missing out on. (Camila might cross her mind. A few times.)

After tucking Sofi in and turning out the lantern, Lauren finds her way back down the dark hallway and into Camila's bedroom. She's given up her place on the floor for the righthand side of Camila's bed. And she can't help but be comforted that Camila's yet to say anything about it. It just happened.

When she crawls back into bed, Lauren assumes Camila is already asleep. She carefully slips under the blankets, taking a deep breath and pausing to look out the window for a moment. The sky is pitch black, but it glows slightly — a misty haze. There's no stars, though. Lauren wonders if they're even out there. In her life so far, they've been nothing but a myth.

Even the moon has become a fairytale. Sometimes, on really clear nights, her father used to call everyone outside and point out a white glow in the sky. He told them, that behind the clouded atmosphere and years of pollution buildup, there was a moon. And even though they couldn't see it, it was there. If it wasn't there, things would be a lot different. But that's the closest they've gotten to seeing anything in the sky, other than the occasional plane that flew by.