Beauty and the Bridesmaid

Chapter Eighteen

It’s the day of the wedding rehearsal. The day where we all get to practise walking down the aisle behind Lela while she says her vows like actors preparing their parts in a play. And I’m going to give the best performance by keeping my mouth shut.

“I thought you’d be a bit happier about the wedding rehearsal,” Anna comments, appearing in the slightly open doorway to my bedroom.

“And I thought you’d still be in bed with the Italian sex God,” I respond, referring to her latest conquest.

“Marco,” she informs me with a dreamy smile, “is in the shower.”

“Anna Lane, you’re not serious about Marco, are you?” Blokes who get the privilege of a sleepover in Anna’s bedroom are usually packed off home early the next morning.

“When am I ever serious about anything?” She strides into my room and smooths a crease from my bridesmaid’s dress that’s hanging over the wardrobe door. Like that will make wearing it any more appealing. “You don’t have to wear this, do you? Once is enough.”

“Nope. Is that why you think I should be happy about the rehearsal?”

“One step closer to this whole thing being over.”

“Can I ask your advice?” I perch on the end of my bed.

“As long as you’re asking about the hot stuff new man in your life.” She wrinkles her nose. “I ain’t no agony aunt in any other department.”

I take a deep breath. “Lela told me that she’d cheated on Ash and now I’ve found out that it was with her ex and I promised her I wouldn’t tell Ash but I don’t know what to do. I can’t go to their wedding, look him in the eye and pretend I know nothing. What would you do?”

She laughs. “What would I do? Jade, I wouldn’t even be going to this stupid show of a wedding if I were you.”

“Just imagine for a minute that you’ve got an actual moral conscience. Would you keep your promise to Lela? Or would you tell Ash the truth?”

“The proper ceremony’s tomorrow night, right?”

I nod in response.

“I never did get your loyalty to Lela. Ruining her life sounds like an exciting prospect to me, but that’s not you. Just don’t wait until the vicar does the ‘speak now’ part to say something to Ash if you’re going to do it.”

“You mean I need to tell him today?”

“That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying be sure before you do anything.”

I nod, taking in her advice. It doesn't exactly help matters but what she's saying does make a lot of sense. 

***

The rehearsal is being held at the Cedar Court Hotel, where the actual wedding and the reception will take place. I stride into the lobby confidently, trying to avoid making eye contact with anybody else in the room.

It’s Ash I don’t want to see. I’ve already made my mind up, haven’t I? I’ve already told Lela that I’m not going to say anything. Seeing him all happy about spending his life with her won’t help that decision. And I can’t keep going round in circles about it.

A male figure appears in my line of vision and I look down, staring at the shiny tiled floor and praying that it’s not Ash and that he’s not going to speak to me.

“Jade!” calls a distinctly non-northern voice.

I raise my head to meet Damien’s gaze.

“I wondered where you were,” he says. Being from Reading, he claims not to speak with a typically southern accent, but there’s definitely a twang that stands out.

If there’s one good thing about this whole circus, it’s seeing Damien standing in the hotel lobby wearing a suit. Smart grey jacket and trousers with a crisp turquoise shirt that brings out the green in his eyes.

“I hope that’s not your wedding outfit,” I remark, reaching out to run my hand down the sleeve.

“I see you’re in equally casual attire.” He winks at me and flicks his eyes over my choice of a fitted purple dress with lace sleeves.

“If only I could wear this tomorrow.” I groan at the thought of my actual bridesmaid’s dress.

“You’re…erm…you’re definitely going then?” He runs a hand under his hairline, pushing his dark curls back and revealing a tiny scar on his forehead.

“You mean am I definitely going to keep my mouth shut?”

“I just need to know that you’re not going to turn up to the wedding and then decide to speak up.”

I cock my head to one side. “What’s your angle? Why do you care so much that Ash never finds out?”

“He used to think he was going to marry you, you know.”

I blush, desperately trying to clear my head of the image of me in my dream wedding dress with Ash as my groom. That’s something I haven’t thought about since I was a teenager.

“And I know that’s all over,” Damien continues, “but you don’t understand what it was like for him when he met Lela. It was like he had that dream again.”

“It’s hardly a dream,” I scoff. “He’s going to marry a cheat without even knowing about it. Don’t you think he should have the choice?”

“We both know what he’d do. Come on, Jade. You know him probably even better than I do. Do you seriously think he’d still want to marry her if he knew the truth?”

“That’s my point.”

“But Ash wouldn’t make a rational decision. You know he wouldn’t. I think you want to do this because you want to split them up.”

“Of course I don’t!” I retort angrily. How can he say that?

He holds his hands up and takes a step back from me. "I'm not saying you're doing it consciously. But you didn't just accept that they were together, did you? Just because you're not in love with Ash anymore doesn't mean you don't still feel some bitterness towards him and Lela."

"You're wrong. This is nothing to do with my previous relationship with Ash, or how I might feel about that."

"So if Lela was marrying some guy you didn't really know, would you still feel the same? Would you still care so much that he found out she'd cheated on him?"

His question throws me and I look away from him, my eyes falling on the other people around us. I spot Diane complaining to a terrified-looking member of the hotel staff. Behind her, I see Johnny and Ash's other friends heading for the bar while they wait.

And then Lela is in my line of vision. She's wearing an ivory lace prom dress that falls to about knee-length and resembles an old-fashioned wedding dress that's been shortened. Knowing her, it's probably something from a vintage shop and looks like something one of her favourite celebrities wore.

Ash comes to stand beside her, slipping an arm around her waist and placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. I imagine he's just some nameless, faceless bloke who I don't care about, and suddenly Damien's question makes sense. 

I should believe Lela when she tells me that what happened was a mistake. She's my best friend. It shouldn't matter who she's marrying. It wouldn't matter if her groom wasn't Ash.

I tear my eyes away from the happy couple and I'm looking at Damien again. Or rather, he's looking at me with this smug sort of lopsided smile on his face. 

"You win," I say. "They're going to get married and I'm not going to do anything that might get in the way of that."

And with that, I turn and walk away from him.