Chapter Twenty-Three

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Harry's lips tingled, and a redness marched up his skin. Lucy rocked back on her heels, sighing a little. Their lips broke apart, but they didn't back away. Wanting to hold on, Harry didn't move, and the never backing down, Lucy stayed still. His blue eyes glistened in hope and awe, watching her ever so intently so that he didn't miss a thing. He didn't. With her eyes upon him, she calculated her next move. The hope was to kiss again, but there was no need to scare either of them away.

Their lips touched again, no hesitation this time, not needing still. The wanting was there. When he touched her, he felt alive for once in a while, better than a high, better that what could've been. He was awake. Though his eyes were closed, he was awake. He wanted desperately to look at her, see her beauty, but his eyes stayed closed through the immediate climax of the kiss.

Breaking apart, his eyes opened to find her in front of him. This wasn't a dream. The air between them was thick, barely able to breathe, and Harry forced it down in gulps. The heat rose on him, and she was cold again. Her lips were closed, and Harry was so sure Lucy didn't breathe. Stilled to the blood, Lucy was lost somewhere.

"I'm sorry," Harry apologized, unsure if she really wanted it. Harry gave her the chance to say no, which she could do at any time. She always had the chance to say no. He couldn't change the past now, but he had the chance to change the future. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" she asked. "You're sorry."

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"Why?"

Harry reeled back. "It seemed like the appropriate thing to say. You didn't ask to be kissed. I'm not even sure if you wanted to be kissed."

"Every person has the right to say no, but I didn't say no. I kissed you back."

"I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?"

"Yes."

"You need to stop saying that," Lucy spat.

Harry kissed her, and she kissed him back. However, Lucy thought about it now, maybe they both should've been sorry. Maybe both of them should forget. Lucy wasn't going to be a princess, and she specially wasn't going to sit there and look pretty for anyone. And what if someone saw? What if someone told? She would always be known as another one of Harry's girls. She would be known as a whore. Whatever her plans were in life, they would be stolen from her, taken because she kissed a prince. She didn't need that. She didn't want that. And Harry, he could never have Lucy. She wasn't allowed to be a part of his world.

"Lucy, I don't want to discuss this now, but--"

She cut him off, "It won't happen again."

"It won't happen again?"

"Yes. It won't happen again." She made her long legs take her into the slum, away from him. "This won't happen again. We're here to volunteer, to try to make the world a better place, and we can't be feeling each other up--"

"Feeling each other up?"

"--because we have a job to do."

Harry took a step inside the slum. "Is that the only reason that we can't...?"

"No. There are lots more if you would like me to list them, like our age or geography...."

Harry agreed with the age, since there was a thirteen year difference. "Our geography?"

"What happened the last time a family member of the British monarchy married an American?"

He sighed. "He abdicated the throne, but I'm not King and I'll never be King."

Lucy whipped around, and sent him staggering back with ten feet already between them. "This isn't just about you, Harry. I have a life too. Though you may never be King, I still have a life in the outside world, where I work and I go out daily. If someone found out, my face would be splashed across newspapers, and my face would be on the TV. I don't want my face to be the TV again. I don't want to be known."

"You don't want to be known?"

Her eyes buried deep into his. "I have been known before, and I have been forgotten. I am grateful to be forgotten. The last thing I want is to be remembered again."

"You don't want to be remembered again, or you don't want to remember?"

For a second, Lucy softened, understanding what he meant, and he was right. Harry wasn't mean about it, but the pain ached in Lucy's body. "You know what it's like, Harry, to have everyone stare at you, to have people think that they can comment and then they do comment. They think their opinions matter."

"You told me, Lucy, no opinions matters but you're own."

"And my opinion is that I won't do this, Harry. I'll be your friend. I'll always be your friend, but I won't be your girlfriend."

"I'm not even asking for that, Lucy."

"I don't want to kiss you, Harry. It was a mistake."

"A mistake?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe you," Harry murmured. "I've gotten to know you, Lucy, and that's how I know you're lying. You're not scared often, but you're scared now, all because you don't know what comes next. You like to be in charge, but you don't know what will happen next."

"Neither do you," Lucy hissed. "You have had a bunch of girls, and they all wanted the fame. So you got comfortable with it. But now that I am the girl and I don't want the fame, you don't know what will happen next." She backed off but her anger radiated. "You probably have these protocols you have to follow with a girl, and you know these things by heart. You brought them into this slum, but you got lazy with them because you thought we wouldn't have anything."

"You're saying we don't."

"I'm saying we can't."

Harry swallowed, taking a step back. "I'm going for a walk."

"Do it."

Shaking his head, he refused to say anything else as he walked out of their slum, leaving her behind.


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