How Do You Feel?

~AMBER~

My name is Amber. But no one loves me. I have literally no one. I get bullied every single day. I get played by these jerks and fuckboys. I sit in my room at night and cry.. No one knows how depressed I am. They think all my smiles are fake.. They don't know anything. I am far from happy. I'm to the point where I say "fuck it." It's driving me crazy. I don't want to live anymore. I contemplate suicide every single day 24/7 and my ex told me I'm ruining his reputation for being my self. No one understands it's not my fault I wanna die. It's theirs. The players. The bitches. I am the school joke. I'm this stupid ass whore who you'll find working on the side of the street. That's how bad it is. I sleep around. And fuck I shouldn't be living my life this way. I'm this damn crack whore. That's what everyone thinks of me. Going to school everyday smelling like smoke and with smeared makeup all over my damn face. If I want something, I'm gonna keep it. Like the guys I've dated. All fuckboys. They just wanted me for sex and drugs. Fuck it. Everyone thinks my life is ok. But it's not. At all. One of the only reasons I'm living like this is because I'm really fuckin broken inside. To the point where I'm even making other people feel like shit. I'm also the school bitch, aka slut.

I run up to my room. I write that note that I've been too scared to write.. I grab the bottles of pills, and my razor.. I say goodbye. I cut brand new very deep cuts in myself everywhere. And then I swallowed the whole 5 bottles of pills, just to make sure I'm not coming back.

I text my crush-
"I loved you. You never saw the pain in my eyes. Made me realize I'm a joke. That no one could ever love me. That's why I'm laying here with 5 bottles of pills in my stomach and my arm gushing blood. Thanks for never being there for me. That was my goodbye, see you on then other side"
Sent.
I slowly feel myself getting dizzy and feeling nauseous.. I slowly fall back with the note and razor in my hand.
I wonder how they'd feel. They won't care. They wouldn't even notice I thought to myself, taking my last breath.
Congrats Society, Now She's Dead.