Sympathy For The Devil

5. Human Beings are Like That

Eddward stood alone in the locker room, silent and motionless, deaf and blind to everything that went on outside. He had lost track of how much time he had spent standing and staring impassively into the open locker. His hand rested on the shelf surface, recently cleaned, dusted, and most of all, empty.

He should not have hoped for anything different; his own locker at the back of the room had been empty the first time he checked, as well as the last time and all the times in between. He had gone through the entire space, including the restroom and the lockers that did not belong to him, like the one before him now, with a figurative fine-toothed comb. He had nothing to show for it but hands that were damp from washing away the grime of the place.

His other hand rested against his chest, over the empty spot where a pair of dogtags should have hung.

Johnny had offered to help him look. Eddward had snapped at him in return. Jimmy had known better than to ask at all. The only human being from whom he would have accepted such help was Marie, and if Marie had been present, this would never have happened.

No, do not think that way. It is useless and petty. This was not her fault.

Because it was yours.

The hand left his chest, and it was a fist by the time it crashed forcefully into the locker to the side.

For the first time in quite a long while, he felt the urge to yell, to curse, to scream some profane word and let it echo in the empty room. He kept his mouth shut and reined it in, until the pressure built up within him and his chest ached even more than the fist still pressed against the locker's unyielding exterior. His hand left the locker shelf, and he slammed the door shut. The sound ricocheted like a bullet.

He leaned his weight forward, until his forehead rested against the cold metal.. His teeth clenched, and he tilted his head back just to knock it into the hard surface again.

They were gone. He had been careless, and he had lost them. He felt his jaw creak with tension, and he sucked in a breath through his teeth.

They were gone, they were gone, they were gone and it was his fault. Someone had taken them, that much was clear, but he had been so careless that it was all his fault, and even if he did find the one responsible and mete out the proper retribution (which he would, of course he would, and he might have pitied the culprit if he did find them, if not for the fact that he despised them and wished them every ill he could imagine) he would always know that he really had himself to blame.

His eyes burned. This was why he had warned off his companions. If they were to see this, or hear this - ifanyone were to bear witness - he would...

He would not know what to do.

Dropping his hand to his side, he slowly turned around and lowered himself to sit on the bench. He slid back, drew up his knees to his chest, and leaned back against the lockers. One arm went around his knees, hugging them to his chest. His other hand went to his face, hiding it even though no one was there.

The breath he drew in was noisy, shaky. His throat ached against it, and it caught convulsively.

They were gone.

A choked sob tore itself from his throat, barely muffled by the hand in front of his mouth. He slipped his fingers upward in a useless attempt to stem the tears.

They were gone.

His voice was raspy and quiet as the word slipped out. "Please." He was not sure who he was addressing.

To see Johnny and Jimmy striding through the hallways minus their ever-present genius friend was a rarity. Kevin had ample reason to wonder where said genius was, considering that, odd behavior or no, he usually bore the brunt of Eddward's wrath when the latter needed an outlet for boredom or stress, or whatever human emotions he was apparently capable of. This was why Kevin found himself using his break period to make his way to the locker rooms by the pool; if Eddward was there, then Kevin could find out what he was doing with his time, and confirm that he was still searching and thus not up to anything devious. Though, to be a bit more honest, Kevin doubted that he was, and what really drew him to seek out Eddward was nothing short of morbid curiosity. All the frankly bizarre behavior that he had been witnessing from afar over the weekend... it was unsettling. And it made Kevin wonder just how far it would go. Besides, it had thrown him for a loop and left him uncertain and unsure of himself, and the sooner that was resolved, the better.