Valentine's Day

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The rain seemed like it poured on and on, never ending.

 An array of dark blues and greys painted the sky, the occasional clash of thunder bringing life to the atmosphere. A sigh left your lips as you began to put on your coat. It was 11:28am, and it was the gloomiest weather so far this year. Ironically enough, the year had just started.

Slipping on your shoes, you grabbed your bag and was on your way. The elevator croaked as you rode down to the lobby. There was barely anyone at the front desk most of the time - let alone a doorman. Sometimes you wondered how your packages would even be delivered to your front door at times. Interior wise, it wasn't shabby or run down at all, but ever since that day it seemed as though all the life had fleeted away from the walls, leaving a dreadful stain on the housing complex. Outsiders couldn't sense it if they visited -  but you and the neighbors had all felt it. The building you lived in was small, but the memories you cherished inside had kept you from moving anywhere else.

"Keys.." You mumbled to yourself while fumbling in your bag. After sifting through a pack of gum, loads of receipts, and some cough drops - you finally found them. Putting them into the ignition, your mind drifted off into reminiscence.

The smell of cinnamon and vanilla would always fill the air whenever you came home. It was a scent you became accustomed to, a smell that felt like home. He always enjoyed baking and making different sweets for the two of you to share. You usually worked later than him, so you rarely had the chance to grab anything good to eat during your work hours. You always hated the idea of him paying all the bills - even if he had offered and wanted  to take care of you. So he knew when you had gotten a job as a waitress he wouldn't be able to stop you. Instead, he compensated by packing lunches and making sure there was always a treat for you waiting at home as something to look forward to after a long day.

"Tadashi, you really didn't have to do this.." The words were cut short from escaping as you were silenced with a soft, gentle kiss. "I know, but I wanted to silly. Look, its those cinnamon cupcakes you like so much!" Tadashi beamed, showing a tray of freshly baked cupcakes cooling on the counter. There were candles lit around the apartment, emitting a subtle vanilla smell around the room. The lights were dimmed and it was so warm and cozy you thought you could fall asleep right then and there. Standing there in a daze, you let out a deep sigh as your muscles finally relaxed. Tadashi chuckled, taking your coat and hanging it up while leading you to the couch.

"Long day at work?" His voice called from the kitchen as he got out a plate for the two of you. The question hung in the air as your body practically melted against the soft cushions of the sofa you two shared. Tucking some hair behind your ear, you nodded. "You could say that. Just a bit hectic with all the customers and stuff.." You dragged on, heat flushing your face as he looked at you intently. He sat next to you on the couch, putting the plate of cupcakes in between you two. "One for me, and one for you." Tadashi smiled, unwrapping the warm cake and taking a bite. You quickly followed - a quiet moan as your mouth exploded with cinnamon and vanilla goodness. 

"I could never get tired of these, y'know. They're the best." Tadashi nodded, scooting a little closer to wrap an arm around your waist. You didn't mind at all - wiggling as close as possible as you rested your head on his shoulder. The night was calm, and everything felt so.. right. Words wouldn't be able to describe how perfect this moment was, how vivid it would stay in your memory for years to come. "Anything for you, babe." A small kiss planted on the top of your head made the night even better.

The rain only seemed to lighten up as soon as you pulled into the familiar parking lot. Its as if you somewhat memorized the way here, since you ended up driving absentmindedly for nearly fifteen minutes. Grabbing your bag and a small bouquet of flowers you had left overnight in the backseat, you started your walk onto the cobblestone path.

Pebbles and dead leaves crunched under your feet as you treaded alone. The place itself was a little eerie - but you didn't mind. If anything, it felt.. lonely. You weren't even sure when was the last time you actually saw someone other than yourself here. It made you feel a bit sad for the others put down to rest, but you decided not to think much of it as you arrived at your destination.

His tombstone was never left empty. Multiple trips were always made by his friends and family, as the stone was decorated with flowers and small gifts almost all year round. The grass around it was lively and thriving, whereas in other areas it was dry and deserted. The joy and love of others had infected this very spot - and it was exactly what he deserved, if not more. Visiting Tadashi's grave was never easy, no matter how many times you've made the trip alone or with his family. So it was natural when a couple of tears had started to roll down your cheeks, has you dropped to your knees in front of the burial.

"Hi Tadashi. Its.. me again." You murmured, voice cracking. The rain softly pattered around you, but it didn't pose a threat. You shifted on your knees, grabbing the bouquet of flowers behind you. 

Breathe in, breathe out.

"I got these for you. I'm sorry they're a little wilted.. I had to stay overtime for work again and I really couldn't afford to call out another day. I hope you'll understand." You put the assortment of roses near the center, laying them on their side as you kneeled. Thunder cracked miles away and your body jumped. "I'm sorry. I was never really good with expressing affection as much as you were, you deserve so much more than this. You were just so ... perfect."

The mantra had repeated itself over and over in your head, for years on end now. How many has it been..? Now that you notice, the corners of his tomb look faded and old, and the words are starting to weather away due to the constant gloomy weather. Moments of silence passed, as you sat and thought about all the happy memories you shared together. Your chest tightened significantly as you thought about receiving the call..

Breathe in, breathe out.

Mustering up the rest of your energy, you finally let out the words you've been repeating ever since last week. "Happy Valentines Day, my love. I hope that wherever you are, the world is treating you kindly. I love you." You wiped a few tears from your eyes, sniffling a bit as your vision became cloudy. You left a kiss on his name, nearly stumbling over after.

"Here's to many more, Tadashi."


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⏰ Last updated: Feb 17, 2020 ⏰

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