Everything I'm Not

Chapter Ten

Raven

I snuck quietly into the Titans tower, I had to warn Beast Boy. I had to tell him what I was expected to do.

I slowly crept into his dark room, he looked so peaceful. It broke me that I had to ruin his serenity. But I couldn't just keep the information I had obtained to myself.

I placed my hand on his mouth just in case he screamed. I used to other hand to hold down his arm, I didn't want him to swing and end up hitting me on accident.

"What are you doing?!" He half whisper screamed

"Shut your mouth, no one knows I'm here," I said nonchalantly

"Well why are you here?"

"To warn you, to tell you the truth," I smiled at thought of telling him the truth

"Warn me about what?"

"Slade expects me to attack next week, be prepared," my hand held his face

"Now the truth?" He asked eagerly

"I thought this was going to be easy," I barely said

"I only need to say this once but you can never know. I don't want to see you get hurt by me. I warned you Garfield, I warned you about girls like me," I paused and for some odd reason tears filled my eyes

"I've never felt this way before, I have once but it can't compare to the way I feel about you. I think I'm falling in love with you," I watched a huge smile creep onto his face

"But, you may never know this," I placed both hands on his face

"I need you to forget that I ever told you this and find a girl who deserves you," I compelled him and by the time he opened his eyes, I was gone.

I walked back to the apartment that my father had bought me. I could feel my heart breaking as I thought about the recent events. I didn't want this to happen.

I never wanted to become a victim of heartbreak, I had sworn that it would never happen again. But now look at me.

It was true, what I had said to him. I don't deserve him. He's such a good person, he deserves the universe and I am merely a star. He deserves a girl that won't break his heart. I'm not good enough for him, I couldn't possibly be.

****
"Raven," Slade said

"Yes Sir," I said in my monotone voice

"It's time," he was watching them.

On his screen I saw Beast Boy, the rest of them were laughing and having a great time. He was just sitting there, doing absolutely nothing. My heart pinged inside my chest.

"I said go!" He yelled and broke me out of my daze

I climbed inside the tower like I had done Sunday night to warn Beast Boy. I crept quietly so no one could hear.

"Well, well," I needed to put on a show

"Look who it is," Robin said with disgust

They stood, ready to fight me. Except Beast Boy, he was in the back and he looked exhausted. When his eyes met mine I had no idea what to do. We stared for what seemed like forever.

"Take me to him," he finally said

"No, you know I can't," I fought the tears

"Raven, now," his voice was stern

"I'm not letting you do it," I protested

"And I'm not letting you do this, this isn't you Raven," he pleaded for my freedom

I gave in, Slade and my father were going to kill me.

"Sir," I cleared my voice

"You can go, but leave the boy," I left the room.

Oh what have I done?