Chapter 5: Give me a Chance

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Every morning I wake up and just stare at the blank wall in front of me. I think about my life, where I am, and where I want to be. It's been two weeks since our night out and Fatima's been acting strange ever since I told her about the guy I met at the club. I hope she doesn't think her opinion doesn't matter because it does. It's just that, at the end of the day it's my life and my choices.

I haul myself out of bed and head for the kitchen. Fatima has already been up; she left for her morning jog around 7. I was going to ask if I could come too, but I didn't want to invade her space. Plus, I have other things I should be focusing on, like getting a job.

I put my hair up in a bun and start to make breakfast. As I'm getting out the ingredients I hit the speaker button and blast Fashion of His Love. I wouldn't consider myself the best dancer, but once a good song comes on I can't help but get down. I shimmy to the cabinet to get the spices, spin to the fridge to get the eggs and bacon and twerk while mixing it all together.

I place the food in front of the computer; it's just a simple bacon and scrambled egg combo, topped off with a large glass of orange juice. The fact that I'm actually cooking, shows that I've been doing a lot of growing and I'm becoming an independent. If only my mom could see me now. Before I even think about sitting down, I go to wash the dishes and utensils that I used. Living with another person, especially one that doesn't make me pay rent makes me more aware of my situation, and I can't do anything to get on her bad side. It's making me more responsible.

I haven't been motivated to research anything in the job department. I feel neutral when thinking about it, but the minute I put it into action I lose interest. I lose my motivation.

Beat's me.

However I made a promise to Fatima, and I want her to take me seriously. Even though she says she doesn't mind me staying here till I get it together, I don't want her to feel like I'm just mooching on her and her success.

My phone vibrates. I can see it's a text from him. My hands are still wet, but I immediately pick up my phone to see what he sent:

Good morning beautiful.

We've been talking a lot since our first encounter; something about him is so inviting, so warm. I smile and put my phone down.

I head for the computer, ready to focus. I always thought finding a job was simple, a piece of cake. But now that I'm in this predicament, it's pretty complex. I haven't started, started, but it already feels exhausting. I know that I need a basic job, just to start me off, to add a little money in my pocket. Once I get that, I can work my way up. Then it hit me. The whole food market, I can get a job at the whole food market. It's a nice, family-friendly atmosphere. Cashiers don't make a whole, whole lot, but it's something. In time I can begin to make a six figure income. This is great! Now that I have it all figured out I can enjoy the rest of my beautiful breakfast in peace.

Even though I'm already done searching, Fatima usually comes back around this time, and if she sees me just sitting here she'll think I haven't been doing anything, I'll keep the computer on for a little while longer. Until then I'll just play phase 10 on my phone.

"Welp, It's been 20 minutes and she still hasn't come back yet, sooo, I'm just gonna shut this down." I say in a bothersome tone. Just as I shutdown the computer, Fatima comes through the door, and of course when she looks at me she sees an empty plate, a black screen, and phase 10 on my phone.

I look at her like a little kid whose mother caught them stealing candy.

"Hey..." I begin to babble "I swear it's not what it looks like I was just-"

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