Love, Isla (Wattys 2016)

5 | challenging

"I keep thinking about blood. I dream about it. Wake up thinking about it. Pretty soon I'll be writing morbid emo poetry about it." - s i m o n

C a l l u m

"Okay, here I go," Noah looked at me and Jacob, his piercing blue eyes contorting into a worried uncertainty before he clears his throat and begins, "er, hey Jenny, I just wanted to say that if we were squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole."

Oh, what fun times like this can be.

My nose cringes in digust and I glare at him.

"That seems a little bit of an overdo. Remember, you want to know her before you penetrate her."

This time it was Jacob's turn to look disgusted. He glared at me, accusingly, "please, for the love of god and every living specimen of this world, do not use the word penetrate in that context. God, what is wrong with all you straight people?"

"What do I do guys? I seriously want to ask her out," Noah mutters, an urgency twisting his features.

It had been a week since I took my revenge upon Isla and she hasn't attempted to get me back yet. We actually haven't even spoken since. But, I still, of course keep an eye out for anything suspicious.

Now, Jacob and I were sitting in my room trying to teach Noah the ways of asking out someone. And god, was he failing pretty damn bad.

"The pick up line should make her blush not throw up, Noah. Okay," I stand up off my bed, realizing only now that I was wearing mismatched socks.

I pull Noah up too, and cross my arms over my chest. "Here is the deal. I'll be Jenny. You be Noah. Pretend it's reality - "

"You look nothing alike, how am I meant to do that?" He scoffs.

"Shut up. I know she's not as fabulous as me but you just got to work with it," I say, only to receive a groan from Noah and a snort for Jacob who was pulling his headphones over his ears to listen to music.

"Noah."

"Callum."

"NOAH."

"Fine, you big sack of shit," he mutters.

"Hallelujah! Okay, say hi," I insist, smiling and twirling my hair in attempt to imitate a girl.

"Er, hey. I - er - sorry for saying those things about you the other day," he starts and I giggle in a high pitched shrill.

"Oh, ha-ha," I smile, trying to look flirtatious and Noah stifles a laugh.
"Er, I just wanted to say that - that - er - er...you look a little tired, if your hands are feeling heavy, I could hold them for you?"

"AWWW," I say in my normal voice, "how proud, I, your amazingly awesome mentor, am of you."

Jacob does a slow and sarcastic clap, his headphones only covering one of his ears so he can hear us with his other.

"Seriously, did I pass? Am I ready to ask her out?"

"Sure you - "

I don't exactly know what happened next. I was dry one second, and then the bedroom door slammed open and I was drenched along with Jacob and Noah.

I wipe my eyes with my fists and looked up through squinting eyes. And standing before me was two girls.

One red head. One brunette. And two waterguns jammed in between their hands.