"Derpy, could you get me that purple book over on the coffee table in the living room?" Doctor asked me.
I was sitting at the sofa, reading Princess Flytta and the Meaning of Friendship. "Gotcha, Doctor," I said. Grabbing the purple book and bookmarking my own, I took the book over to the Doctor in my teeth.
"Thank you, dear Derpy," he said distractedly as he took it and opened it up on his desk. I blushed, hoping he couldn't see. He called me "dear Derpy"!
Hi my name's Derpy Hooves. The Doctor's full name's Doctor Whooves, and he's an earth pony with a light brown coat and handsome brown mane and tail he keeps in dashing jagged slashes. He doesn't really like them, but I do.
His cutie mark is an hourglass, because he's a TIME TRAVELING PONY! I'm his assistant and friend, and I help him out cleaning and cooking and stuff around the TARDIS. He battles cosmic villains and things, but he tries to keep me safe, which is so romantic!
I'm a gray pony with a blonde mane and tail, and my cutie mark is a group of bubbles, which means I'm really bubbly and happy! I'm called Derpy because while my left eye does what I tell it to do, while my right eye just wanders, so my eyes are usually looking in different directions, almost walleyed, so my nickname is Derpy! My full name is Derpilena Anna Mailequo, but I was never somebody for fancy names. I also love muffins and I'm Ponyville's mailmare when I'm not helping the Doctor out.
And I do kind of...have maybe a little bit of a crush on him. He's amazing! His beautiful blue eyes, his deep, inquisitive, accented voice, the confused little way he reads things even though he understands perfectly, the way he talks to me like my mom used to...all gentle and loving.
"Derpy, come over here for a moment," Doctor said.
I trotted over to him to look over his shoulder. "What's up, Doctor?"
Suddenly I heard polka music from the streets. I turned to the window in the living room. A pink pony, who I recognized as Pinkie Pie, was playing a one-man band and leading a line of what looked like cute little fireflies with big turquoise eyes towards the Everfree Forest.
"Derpy, are you even listening?" Doctor's voice drew me back to him. "Y-yes, sorry, Doctor," I said.
"See this?" Doctor gestured to a map of Ponyville on a page of the book. I realized the purple book was Doctor's journal! It had his scrawly writing all over it, and the map was drawn by Doctor's detailed hoof.
"I've doodled the TARDIS onto its location on this map of Ponyville," Doctor said, gesturing to it. "And now that I've found out the specific location of where the TARDIS is in Ponyville, I think I've found a way to shorten our walk from the TARDIS to the town by having the TARDIS teleport itself closer to the center of town."
"You have?!" I exclaimed happily. I hated the long walks into town. "Why," I had said before, "can't we just have the TARDIS teleport itself closer to town?"
Doctor had replied: "I can't make the TARDIS just teleport wherever I want it to. And besides, I don't even know where the TARDIS specifically is in Ponyville."
But now he had done it! "Yayy!" I exclaimed, clapping my hooves and hopping about on my two back legs all around Doctor's office. "Hooray! I won't be late to my mailmare duties anymore, and I can go to the bakery more often!"
Doctor smiled. "Yup. That's true," he said. He murmured the line of code a couple times, memorizing it. "I think this is it, Derpy," he said. He galloped off to the TARDIS's command room, leaving his journal open on his desk.
My eyes immediately gravitated towards it. It was a very pretty book, with a quilted purple cloth cover and creamy pages the color and texture of soft goose down, lined immaculately with printed ink lines. It was a journal worthy of a Timelord like Doctor.
Next to it, his pen was disguised to look like a quill, but when you slid the pen out of the hollowed-out feather, it was just a regular black ballpoint pen.
Looking around me to make sure Doctor was still in the command room, I gently flipped to the Doctor's latest entry.
December 14th, late afternoon:
I think I've perfected it! The code to enter into the TARDIS controls to make the TARDIS teleport closer to the center of town, like Derpy wanted before! And what she'll never guess is that it's right in between her parents' muffin bakery and the post office. So she'll be closer to both of them! It's the perfect plan, and a wonderful surprise for her!
Code: 432098092324098098309
TARDIS current cords (see map): x234, y493
TARDIS next cords (see map): x256, y509
Teleportation Initiation from-
Suddenly the TARDIS began to shake before I could finish reading, and Doctor shouted from the command room: "Derpy! It's working! I've gotten the TARDIS to teleport into the center of town!"
Then a queer thing happened to me. It was like in a dream where you're walking along and then suddenly the ground drops out from under you and you experience this sort of panging falling sensation in your stomach, except this sensation sort of went forward, in a way. There's no way to describe it.
And then it stopped, and the TARDIS stopped shaking. Silence came from the control room. I flipped the journal back to the way Doctor had left it and trotted over to the control room to see what was up.
Doctor looked up at the wall of computer screens with sheer delight. "Look, Derpy!" he said, pointing a hoof. "We're in Ponyville!"
The screens showed multiple ponies in the Ponyville town square, passing by, chatting happily. Luckily none of them seemed to notice the TARDIS's sudden appearance.
"It worked! Oh, Derpy, it really worked!" Doctor jumped up, and, grabbing my hooves, did a little happy dance with me all around the command room...
~*FANTASY~*
The shimmering lights, my beautiful gown that Rarity had made specially for me, my mane falling down my back in luscious curls, my tail long and luxurious, my hooves encased in crystal slippers.
It was so beautiful, everything sparkling with the light of a thousand candles. Refined, elegant pony pairs danced around, spinning and moving their hooves in graceful dance patterns.
"My fine Derpy, may I have this dance?" I turned to see...Doctor.
He was in the crispest, most finely made suit that could have come from nowhere but the finest tuxedo shop in Equestria, Saylor Stitch's.
I blushed. "Of course you may, my good sir," I said in a rich, beautiful whinny that could not have been my real voice.
Quite suddenly, polka music began to play. Doctor grabbed me roughly around the waist and we began to do a jumpy little polka, with Doctor spinning me around, just like all the other pony pairs.
