Kiss Me (Phanfic)

A-void in my heart

A/N: This is when I kinda lost inspiration for the story, sorry :l

It's been three weeks sinse the youtuber party in L.A. I've been doing my best to avoid Phil at all cost. I mean how would you react after just figuring out that your friend for 6 years is the person you are madly in love with.

I quietly crept down the stairs this morning, trying my hardest not to wake Phil so I can grab my breakfast. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my mug and a hot chocolate packet. I ripped open the packet and chucked it in the mug while filling it up as much as I could without spilling over with milk. I threw it in the microwave and pressed 2 and waited. While waiting I planned to make a bowl of cereal but was met with no cereal. The box was missing. "Looking for something?"

I jumped as I turned to find a wide awake Phil eating my cereal. "Oi, that's my cereal mate, get ya own.." I said Laddy as I snatched my cereal from his hands. I grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and filled it with my cereal and what was left of the milk. Suddenly the microwave beeped, signaling my hot chocolate was done. "So another avoid Phil day huh? Okay.." I heard Phil mumble before walking to the living room. I stopped in my tracks as I realized the situation. Phil knew I was avoiding him? What was worse was I was aware I'm avoiding him. Ugh, I'm a horrible friend.

Friend.

That's all we're gonna be isn't it? I sunk to the floor as my arms wrapped around my knees. He doesn't love me. He could never love me. We've known eachother for 6 years and he's never shown one sign. Nor have I though, I did just figure out my feelings. Maybe he feels the same..

"Dan? are you okay?" Phil gasped as he came rushing to my side, embracing me in his arms. He began to rub something off my cheeks and that's when I realized I was crying in his arms while continuisly saying 'Im sorry' over and over again. What was I going to do? I can't tell him what's going on. He'd hate me forever.

I quickly stood up, wiping my tears away and trying to regain my confidence. 'I'm sorry, I don't know what that was I.." I was croaking at this point as Phil stared at me sympathetically. "I'm not avoiding you, I just have alot on my mind and it's selfish of me to drag you in it.." I lied. I lied straight up in his face. He simply nodded and told me that if I ever need to talk about it that he would always be there. Always.

I walked back up to my room and opened my laptop, prepared to scroll for the remainder of my day. I was watching some Phan videos on youtube. How I ended up here I don't know but I couldn't stop. Eventually I clicked on a video called 'Top 50 Phan moments'. I watched as they video started out with some cute little motions and affections we showed eachother and then it suddenly progressed into a slightly more romantic side. I giggled as I saw our facial expressions when 'I won't Give Up' played on the radio that one time. I began to smile fondly at the memory of us dancing at the Brit awards. I then clicked on another video. It started off with Phil and I laughing and being happy, then suddenly a car crashed. Phil died. Phil was gone. He was never coming back, he would never smile again, he was only a ghost that would haunt the halls of our flat forever.

Once again I didn't realize I was crying and wiped my tears away right as Phil walked in. "Hey Dan, is everything alri-" He stopped talking when he saw the state I was in. I was a moping mess on my bed and my laptop was still open. He moved the laptop out of my reach and sat next to me, cuddling me in his arms like that one night on the couch. "Is this because of the video you were watching? Cause that's not real Dan, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere" He calmly said into my ear. At this point I was clinging to his shirt, probably the closest I've ever layed near him. "I know..I don't know why I am crying.." I trailed off. He rubbed soothing circles on my back and told me everything would be fine and that whatever is happening is just an obstacle life is throwing at me. I smiled into his shirt and stopped crying. I looked into his eyes and just smiled at the thought of He and I being a couple. He is such a loving and wamr hearted person. He is a literal sunshine and without him, my life would be complete darkness.

Our foreheads touched as did our noses and we just layed there, staring into eachothers eyes. He smiled at me and I smiled back. This moment was bliss.

"How are you feeling?" Phil asked. His arms still wrapped around me tightly. "I feel..content.." I said, thinking of a word that matched how i felt. "Me too" He said blushing. I chuckled and wrapped my arms around his neck. That's when I realized how close we were. Only inches apart from eachother. "Phil.." I said, it was supposed to come out as a question but sorta just sounded like a statement. "Dan" He replied, no longer looking at my eyes but at my lips. We both tilted our heads closer.

"Phil?" I said it correctly this time.

"Yeah?" He asked, eyes closed at this point.

"Kiss me..."