Death is not the End of Love

Chapter 1

"He danced with tall grass, for a moment like he was swaying with a woman. Our gun barrels glowed white-hot. When I got to him a blue halo of flies had already claimed him. I pulled the crumbled photograph from his fingers. There's no other way to say this: I fell in love.
The morning cleared again, expect for distant mortar & somewhere choppers taking off. I slit the wallet into his pocket & turned him over, so he wouldn't be kissing the ground." I read as I sat next to his bed in the hospital.

Jayden loved it if I read poems for him and this one was his favorite. He had cancer in the final stage but the doctors still hoped that he would survive, so we did.

"Where's Nathan?" He asked.

"He's at home with Andrew."

Nathan was our three years old son, whom we loved unconditionally. We became parents by the age of 23 after our wedding. Everything happened fast and early in our life but we were happy about it how it was.
And Andrew was my 21 years old stepbrother.

"Please take him with you tomorrow."

"Is good." I said nodding and looked down.

"Hey, don't be sad. Everything's fine." He smiled and lifted my chin up with his thumb. "If I have you, I have everything. I love you."

"I love you, too." I said and kissed him.

I noticed that he pulled his face to pain. I felt sorry for him because he had so much pain and I couldn't help him at all.

"What is?" He asked worried.

"W-what if y-you...?" I stuttered and felt how the tears rushed down my face.

"Never think so." He answered. "The doctor said that it's going to get better."

I nodded as I looked him deeply in the eyes. It felt like we stared at each other for years but then we were interrupted by my phone.

"It's Andrew. I guess I'll go now." I said and took my jacket.

"Alright, we'll see us tomorrow." He replied, smiling a little. "And don't forget Nathan."

"I won't forget him." I chuckled slightly. "See you tomorrow. I love you."

I kissed him and he said that he loved me too.

~~

"Mommy!" Nathan ran to me and embraced me in a hug as I entered the house.

"Hey little man. How are you?" I smiled and lifted him up.

"Good."

We went into the living room where Andrew was.

"What's up?" I asked and sat down at the couch with Nathan on my lap, who played with my hands.

"Nothing." He answered simply. "How's Jayden?"

"He's good actually. Of course he has a lot of pain but he doesn't want to show it."

"Mommy, can I visit daddy again?" Nathan asked, still playing with my hands.

"Yeah, he also wants to see you." I smiled, though he didn't look at me. "We'll visit him tomorrow."

"I guess I'll leave now." Andrew said and got up.

"Okay. And thanks that you took care of Nathan."

"Always." He smiled and hugged me. "Bye Nathan."

And then Andrew left.

"Nathan, it's already late. You've to get ready for bed." I smiled and lifted him up.

He chuckled the whole time. I still remembered the day of his birth, it was the happiest day in my life, though it was painful and the birth last 26 hours.

We went into the bathroom and I put him in the bathtub. Meanwhile I tidied up his room. And I then stared at the photo on the wall, showing Nathan, Jayden and I at Nathan's birth, so cute how he wrapped his fingers around Jay's thumb. My eyes filled up with tears.

Why can't be everything normal?

I whipped my tears quickly away and went back to Nathan to take him out of the bathtub. After I put him his pyjamas on we went into his room.

"Mommy, when will daddy come home again?" He asked as I blanket him.

"Soon, Nat." I smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Good night."

"Nighty, mommy." He whispered, took his dummy and I then turned the light off and went into my bedroom.

~~

The next day I woke up hearing footsteps running into the bedroom.

"Mommy, wake up we have to visit daddy." He exclaimed happily and jumped on the bed.

"Yeah, I'm awake." I chuckled slightly.

I lifted him up and we went into the kitchen to have breakfast. We ate quickly because Nat wanted to see his daddy. So, as I changed his and my clothes we sat down in the car and drove to the hospital.

~~

"Daddy!" Nat exclaimed happily as we entered the room. He directly jumped on his bed and cuddled with Jayden.

"Hey my son." Jay smiled and kissed the top of his head.

"How are you, daddy?"

"Now I feel way better." He smiled and hugged him even tighter.

"Hey babe." I smiled and kissed him as I came closer to his bed.

"Mrs. Carter, can I talk with you?" Jay's doctor asked me and I followed him out, quite nervously.