Goner (boyxboy)

3

(Quinn above, and the song Iris covered by Sleeping With Sirens:)

Quinn pulled his arms tightly around himself, head down as he stood beside Collin. His arms  shook as he gripped his elbows. He felt so anxious and scared. In his mind, there was no way in Hell Collin just wanted to "talk"- especially after yesterday. Maybe pull his shirt off and take pictures of his scars to send to everyone in the school, but not talk.

The library was cold as the blonde stared down at the trembling male, he could see how absolutely scared the short boy was. And, now that he knew what said boy did to himself, he felt awful. The cuts and scars that covered Quinn's chest and torso were a terrible wake up call. He assumed there were even more in the places that that he couldn't see, and he couldn't stand that thought.

"I'm so sorry." Collin said as he leaned against one of the many book shelves. His voice was low and he kept his eyes downcast.

Quinn pushed his hand through his dark curls as he felt his mouth go dry.

His mind went into panic mode. It was now really beginning to set in- someone knew. Collin knew he harmed himself. It was such a scary thought and he couldn't help but take a few unintentional steps back from his bully. His body ached with the need to run and hide.

The British boy followed Quinn's steps. "Please, Quinn. You have no idea how absolutely sorry I am." 

Collin's words made Quinn's body tense. "You wouldn't be sorry if you didn't know." His words were quiet but sharp and venomous. The blonde froze as he stared at the meek boy in front of him. "You have bullied me since you first transferred here. You have called me names, put me down, and hit me. It never affected you until you yesterday. Now that you know what you've caused me to do, you're guilty. You are the most selfish bastard I have ever met." Quinn was lying. He had self-harmed before Collin even showed up, but he would admit that it got so much worse after the extreme bullying had started.

"I don't want your insincere apologies." Quinn whispered, voice cracking and eyes glazing over. He quickly turned and marched out of the library.

Collin just stood where he was left in absolute shock.

***

"Goddammit." Quinn hissed as the razor that he kept in his wallet fell and clattered onto the school's dirty floors. His eyes were foggy with tears and his hands fumbled as they grabbed the small blade causing red to bloom on his thumb. With a frustrated growl, the sad boy leaned his back against the tiled wall of the bathroom and quickly got to work. His shirt was already off and the scarred area above his elbow was in view.

It was only minutes later that he was finished, new cuts added amongst the older scars. 

His body was completely relaxed.

Quinn used to only harm himself after an extremely bad thing happened, like a beating or his parents calling to say they'd be gone another two months. For the past year, though, it'd be over the smallest things. Whether that was a bad feeling or getting anything lower than an A on a test.

He'd been diagnosed with anxiety and depression two years ago, but he'd never felt this bad. In the past two years he'd created more scars than he'd ever thought possible. The newer ones were mostly because of the bullying. He couldn't forgive Collin.

With a slow exhale, Quinn grabbed a few paper towels and wiped the blood flow on his arm then pulled down the sleeve. The end reached just below the crook of his arm but hid everything. He only harmed places that there would- under normal circumstances- be no chance of anyone seeing. His forearms were untouched, and he admired the pale skin before cleaning up any and all evidence of his weakness before leaving.

Second hour was fast approaching and Quinn knew it would be awful. He was just happy this was the last day before Fall break.

***

"You have reached Heather Landers, sorry that I couldn't take your call. Please try me again real soon!" Said the all too familiar voicemail.

With a small, sad sigh Quinn began to talk. "Hey mom. Just wanted to know if you and dad are coming home for Thanksgiving... It's in two days." He toyed with his curls and glared down at the ground.

He couldn't think of anything else he could really say. "So, yeah. Please call. Love you."

The large phone fell from his fingers and onto the carpeted ground, but he didn't care. His heart hurt. Though his parents ignoring wasn't new, it still sucked. Every holiday he'd get his hopes up just to get shot right back down.

From where he sat on the couch, Quinn could see his phone's screen from where it had fallen. It stayed dark as he stared at it, no notifications to light it. Time passed and he didn't do a thing, too caught up in his dark mind. A call, that's all he wanted. Something.

His fingers worked together, tinkering and keeping him busy.

The clock ticked, filling the air with some sound.

His thoughts soared, causing him to fill with sadness.

The room around Quinn was dark, the sun now down so that no light came through the open curtains. It seemed like hours later, and more than likely was, but his phone screen brightened. The light seemed blinding but worth it. With a stiff body, the boy quickly snatched up the device and clicked the message icon on his screen. With high hopes, he read the words from his mother and deflated. Sorry Quinn. Your father and I will be gone for a while longer. Be safe, love you.

Of course.

Quinn had no idea as to why he was so disappointed, he didn't expect any differently. An angry growl escaped the boy's lips and he went to his phones contacts before typing out a message to one of his favorite people. Then, he tugged on a jacket and stormed from the house, not even taking the time to turn off lights or lock the door.

He needed drugs and he needed them now.

He wanted to be happy.

A/N

Sorry for taking so long ):

VCF!