Goner (boyxboy)

10

Collin stared at Quinn in wonder, happiness filling him as he stared at the teen's small wrist. A single rubber band was wrapped around it. A rubber band that Collin had given him. The British boy couldn't help but wonder if maybe he'd stopped Quinn from cutting? Did the rubber band really help? He wanted to ask, but it would be rude, and Quinn still hadn't said anything about forgiving him. Plus, to be honest, Collin still didn't think he deserved forgiveness.

The Brit looked back down and focused on his test, realizing that he was being creepy. He blushed slightly, irritated by his own actions. He didn't know why, but he couldn't seem to get Quinn out of his head. Whether it was the guilt, or something else, he didn't know.

The minutes seemed to tick by, slowly and without a care for anyone else. It caused restlessness throughout the classroom, and Collin soon found himself zoned out. His green eyes were glazed and he tapped his pencil absent-mindedly. It wasn't until the bell rang and the Brit was snapped back to reality that he realized what- who -he'd been staring at.

Steely blue eyes glared in confusion back at Collin. Quinn's gaze burned, but the boy didn't look angry. More confused. The dark hollows of Quinn's cheeks seemed more intense, and it caused Collin to worry slightly. As much as he didn't deserve forgiveness, he wished that Quinn at that moment looked more accepting. The Brit wanted to be able to ask about the other boy's health, but he didn't have that right and he knew it.

Quinn turned, dark curls brushing his eye lashes as he put his back to Collin. The green eyed boy sighed and gathered his things, wishing he'd taken a different route with his high school life. Everything would be so much better if he had. The first time he bullied Quinn was still painfully clear in his mind. The guilt nearly threatened to drown him.

As Collin walked towards his next class he thought back on his first day in an American high school. He'd been absolutely terrified! Moving was already stressful, and he had moved to an entirely different country to start in a school system that was so much more complicated than what he'd been used to.

Though he'd been immediately accepted into a group, he didn't feel like he fit in. It was awkward being around people who mainly just wanted to hear his 'accent'. It'd just happened. The kids around him had already been teasing Quinn, who at the time was shorter but looked healthier. He had just joined in, not really meaning to. Then when the people around him had cheered him on... he'd hit the poor boy.

Quinn had fallen with only a short cry of pain, and his tear filled eyes had caused guilt to settle in Collin's stomach, but his new friends had encouraged. Before he knew it, he became known as a bully. His friends liked him, though. He fit in with them, and slowly that became all that mattered. Finally, it became a relief to hurt Quinn. When he beat the smaller boy he felt empowered, like he was in charge of something in his life. It'd gotten so much worse, and it soon became apparent that Collin "enjoyed" hurting the blue eyed teen.

It was all a giant regret now.

***

Quinn picked at the rubber band on his wrist. His face was set in a neutral expression as he thought of the  past events. It was funny to him, the fact two of the people that used to bully him had gotten him actual, heart felt presents while his parents hadn't even cared. It didn't matter that Collin and Bailey's presents weren't expensive. They actually had him in mind while them, his parents could only see money as love.

A smile pulled at his lips. Could he actually forgive Collin? The person who had lead countless others against him. He bit his bottom lip and flicked his wrist. Not now, but some time soon.

After the Hell of a Christmas break Quinn had, the small bit of light Bailey and Collin had brought seemed like the sun. His arm still had phantom pains from the feeling of bad heroine, and his paranoia still lingered. It was like a darker shadow on his already dark mind.

Class seemed to drag on, but it was easier without Collin staring at him. English IIII had been difficult with eyes that never seemed to stray far from him. It had caused his paranoia to highten, but Collin didn't hold any malicious intent. He'd looked... strange, to Quinn. Everything was so confusing.

He hated it.

***

"Be quiet!" Logan hissed as he kicked Quinn to the ground. Derrik stood beside the taller male, smirking down at Quinn. They'd cornered the boy outside the school, as he'd been walking towards his car.

"Just because Collin and Bailey have suddenly lost their fucking minds doesn't mean we have." Derrik said. "You're still just a weak faggot that needs to learn his place."

Quinn sobbed, wrapping his arms around his hurt body. The pain is only physical, the dark haired teen tried to tell himself. It was a lie, though. Their words were daggers to his mind, the abuse not only physical but emotional. He was in agony everywhere.

Quinn had no idea why his life was like this, but according to everyone else he deserved it.

Everything after that was a blur. The bullying had gone on for a while longer, then it had taken him an hour to finally drag himself up and drive home. Now he struggled. Sitting alone in his too big house, curled up in the corner of his bedroom. He clutched his razor in one hand and the red marker Collin had gotten him in the other.

As much as he wanted to watch his blood run, the marker offered some sort of peace. With it, he could maybe become better. It would take time, but if he started now, he may soon be clean. The battle waged within, his eyes flickering from one hand to the other. He knew that the marker wouldn't offer the release he needed.

The sad boy wiped at his eyes before dropping both of the items. His long fingers tangled in his hair. The battle was won... for now.

He picked up the marker and smiled slightly, proud of himself.

A/N

Finally updated, sorry!

Hope you all had wonderful holidays.

VCF