Down in Flames (SPN Lucifer x OC)

Chapter 9: Another Brick In The Wall

So many horrible things have happened in my life, so much that I really shouldn't be scared of the Devil; however, he wasn't a physical being this time; he was a mental one. One that could destroy me from the inside out, which was worse than physical pain.

This was a whole other story. And it wasn't a happy one, so far...

"It seems that I won't be able to show you my wings any time soon, boys. That's a shame, they were really awesome." I joked in a tired voice as I basically inhaled the stack of pancakes in front of me. I was pretty sure food was spilling from my mouth as I talked. A pancake waterfall.

Sam looked up from his coffee and rose an eyebrow at me. "You had wings?"

I hum out an answer happily while scooping another bite into my mouth. The syrup was really sweet, the butter was melting, and the pancakes were super fluffy. I didn't want it to end!

I swallow hard and take a deep breath, sleeping down my eating. I was so energy deprived, I needed to gain some at least for half of the current day.

Last night wasn't the best, I didn't sleep at all, not one second of snooze. It wasn't because of that fallen angel, though. He only showed himself to me for a minute then disappears again. Simply saying a few taunting things to mess with my mind at first then leaving me to wallow in anxiety.

That bastard...

I was truly nervous. I always have had anxiety, and man, this was not helping. What was he planing to do to me since I let his old toy go and replaced it with a new one, which was myself? What tricks did he have in store for my mind since I was his new plaything?  I was the only one he could do damage to, ruin my ideas and use my fears against me.

Again, I would rather take physical harm any day over that, if I had the choice.

Nightmares are what kept me up throughout the night. Sam and a Dean let me sleep on the king mattress the motel room had, and during one part of the night my terrors got so bad that the two boys decided to lay next to me on either side and keep me feeling safe, wrapping their arms around me in a cocoon. All I remembered was how warm they were against my abnormally cold body.

I woke up in a fright seeing Castiel standing at the foot of the bed, staring at all of us in silence, and I almost let out a surprised scream when I saw the boys' gigantic bodies sleeping on both sides of me, crushing me together in a Winchester sandwich. I forgot that they joined me last night to help me calm down.

I let the Castiel 'staring-into-my-soul' thing and all go after Dean explained that it was normal for him to pop up like that and observe silently (which I found sort of disturbing). I thanked them as soon as they got up for spending the night comforting me in the only way they could think of. Sort of like what I did for Sam, I just spent the night by his side to make him feel safe. I felt safe.

The dreams weren't anything special, but it got me starting off the day as nervous and paranoid as ever. They were mostly all flashbacks of my old family dying, and me dying because now since I couldn't heal quickly anymore; I was able to die much easier.

The only thing keeping me alive were my powers. I was clumsy, innocent with humans, an open target to monsters because of what I was, and always fell back on my powers to help me and keep me surviving. But now, my only crutch I had was gone and I was left to walk alone when I couldn't even crawl. I had no more ground to rely on, but only my instincts which were dulled since I was turned human. I had to rely on pure cleverness and skill, which I had plenty of but not as much as a regular hunter should have. I was naive as shit and even I knew that.