Alone

Loss

There are days when people look into the heavens just waiting. That is the day I am experiencing now. I can't take it anymore. I don't want to be here! Anywhere but here! The thoughts have been in my mind constantly, but I keep my composure. I act as though nothing is wrong.

* * *

"Jamie? Are you alright?" My best friend knows when something isn't right. He has this sixth sense.

"I'm never alright."

"Don't be dramatic."

"I'm not. I'm telling the truth. I wish I was in that car with them. I feel so alone. Always so alone." Tears threatened to break free. That is what Jason does, he brings out my emotions. Even when no one else can.

"Jamie," he whispers. In an instant he is by my side, arms wrapped around me. I can't contain them anymore, the tears fall as I begin to sob. "You are never alone! I will always be here for you."

* * *

I think of that as I stare up at the sky. Liar. You said you'd always be here! LIAR! I can't stop myself. I start crying. Five weeks ago I lost my parents. I have no relatives left besides my cat-loving aunt, whom I now live with. Mom always disliked her, but I hate her. She tries too hard to make me happy, it is sickening. I hardly know her, I don't want to live with her and her fifteen cats. Just three weeks after my parents passed, Jason passed.

* * *

The music was blaring.The windows were open so we could here the music. We sat on the hood of his truck staring at the sky, the part not covered by tangling tree branches. The car was pulled over onto the side of a not-so-busy road. Really, it was Jason's long and windy driveway.

"Jason."

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"Oh, Jamie. I love you too." He bent over and kissed me, passionately. "I always have."

I chuckled and kissed him. He kissed back. Then we heard it. Well, rather, heard nothing. His truck died. The lights shut off, music stopped, just dead.

"Crap," he muttered as we both got off his hood. He opened it. All looked fine, other than a cut wire and a now smoking chipmunk. "Stupid rodent. It chewed through the wire!"

"Well, at least it won't do it again," I commented playfully.

"Wow. You are such a funny girl. You know that Jamie." Sarcasm dripped off his words. But I ignored it.

"I've been told that before."

He scoffed and pushed me over.

"Hey!" He turned around and I kicked the back of his knees, causing him to fall as well.

As soon as he was down, he slapped his hand over my mouth. I licked it. He yanked his hand back and wiped it on my jeans. I was about to scold him when I saw how intently he looked at the woods beyond the driveway. A twig snapped. My heartbeat quickened. My eyes caught sight of something large moving in the woods. The grunt was all he needed.

We shot up and he pushed me into the backseat of his truck while he grabbed his gun. But it was too late. The bear was upon him and right as he turned around to shoot it, it bit him. I screamed as I snatched up the falling gun. The bear looked at me and right before it lunged, I shot it. The beast fell with blood dripping from between its eyes.

"Jason!" I climbed out of the truck and knelt down next to him. "Jason!" I grabbed his hand, checking his wrist for a pulse. There was one. "Jase. Talk to me! Please!" Tears had started flowing. My friend was dying in my arms. The bear had bit his stomach.

"Jamie. . .I-I'm s-sorry." His weak breath stopped.

"No. No no no no no no! NO! Jason! Jason Noah Davids! You cannot leave me like this! I need you here! You promised me! You promised me. Why?" I laid my head upon his chest, warm with his blood, but I didn't care. I cried, no, I wept.

I couldn't drive away from this. I couldn't call for help either. There was no service and both of our cells were dead anyways. His parents we still three miles up the drive, so no help could come. No help would come. I just lay there weeping over my lost companion until I fell asleep.

Help came the next morning though, on his father's way to work.

* * *

That is what I think about as I sit in Aunt Cassie's field. The sun is setting, so I stand. I hate the dark. Ever since that night I have hated, and feared, the dark. It holds no good memories. It was night when my parents crashed. It was night when Jason was mauled by a bear. It is night that brings the horrors. And I hate it.

As I push open the door, Aunt Cassie greets me.

"Hey! Honey drop! You want some dinner?" I figured she was talking to one off her many cats and continue to walk to the stairs. "Jamie? Honey? I made tuna casserole. Your mom once told me it was your favorite. Do you want some dinner." Sympathy. That is all I hear in people's voices nowadays.

"I suppose," I mutter as I mope over to the table that is all set. There is a small box on my plate. I grab it and open it. Inside laid a beautiful necklace. "What is this for?" I asked as I pulled out the silver chain from which dangled a lovely blue gem.

"Because I love you, dear," she said. I could hear her smile. I looked up at her. Tears welled up in her eyes.

"I-I love you too, Aunt Cassie." I surprised the both of us. The tears spilled from her eyes and she wiped them away. I clamped the necklace onto my neck. "How do I look?"

"Oh dearie! You look absolutely ridiculous!" She laughed.

I suppose I did look a little odd. I hadn't brushed my hair this morning and was in sweatpants. I was wearing a black tank and had on an elegant necklace. I guess I did look a little our of the ordinary. U laughed too.

She served me my tuna casserole and I bowed my head slightly while she said her blessings. I'm not really the praying type, but it makes her happy to see me pray with her, so I do it anyways.

As we ate, the cats begged. I could almost hear them screaming BUT IT IS TUNA! I chuckled as I slipped a bite to Fatty, or maybe it was Dewy, heck I don't know. There are too many. I fed one of them. Big mistake. If you never had fifteen cats begging you for your favorite dinner, I suggest you don't ever do it. I was surrounded. Luckily, Aunt Cassie had trained them not to jump onto the chairs, tables, or counters, but I wasn't expecting to be wearing a skirt of cats as I sat.

"Ha! I'll grab them a plate too." Aunt Cassie stood and grabbed her longest, skinniest dish. I had asked her what it was for when I first moved in. He answer was simple: For my kitties, of course. She slipped some casserole into the dish and spread it out so that it would reach all over. So that everyone could get some. Before she set it down she commanded the her cats pray. They all laid down and crossed their paws while bowing their heads. When they all looked up again, she smiled and put down the dish, which was eagerly awaited.

When I was done with dinner, I helped clean up. When the kitchen was spotless, I kissed Aunt Cassie's forehead and headed to my room.

Earlier, in the field, I said I hated Aunt Cassie. Maybe she isn't so bad after all.