Baby Daddies

Chapter Eight: Tits McGee

"She's going in the room. This bitch is going in the room," Paul said in defeat, shaking his head and sitting back against the couch. He angrily stuffed his face with popcorn. Naomi looked at Cole, shaking her head as well.

"You know you're being a total stereotype right now?" she asked. She shook a handful of Sno Caps out of the box and popped them into her mouth. Paul glared at her for a moment before shrugging nonchalantly.

"It is what it is. I'm gonna yell at the movie because this bitch is dumb as hell," he replied. Just as Naomi was going to say something, the girl in the movie screamed and was grabbed from behind. The murderer stabbed her in the stomach multiple times, his mask staring down at her a blank expression. He dragged her outside, tossed her body in the pool, and turned on the automated pool cover.

"That's gonna stink soon enough," Cole commented.

"That's what I was thinking..." Cole and Paul often thought the same things about movies, which was why it was fun to put in a bad slasher and comment on everything from how big the slutty girl's boobs were to how realistic the blood splatters looked.

"Alright, while these idiots spend the rest of the night looking for Tits McGee, I'm gonna go get some more snacks. Let me know if anything crazy happens." Cole stood up and walked around the back of the couch. He headed to the snack cabinet and opened the door, looking over the many shelves fully-stocked with junk food. His mom had done some shopping, he guessed. That was perfectly alright with him. He grabbed a bag of Cheetos, a package of Oreos, and from the fridge, two Cokes and one Diet Coke. Naomi apparently liked the taste of diet better than regular, which made no sense whatsoever in Cole's mind, but he wouldn't make another big deal out of it. Even his mom had learned to deal with Naomi's strange tastebuds.

Cole returned to the living room with snacks in hand, dropping off the food on the coffee table. He returned to his seat in the middle of the couch and handed Paul and Naomi their drinks. "Did I miss anything important?"

"No, just the jock wondering where his beautiful bimbo ran off to," Naomi replied, slurping from her can. Cole nodded and sank back into the couch, getting comfortable. The rest of the movie went a little something like this: teenager goes outside by themself, gets killed, everyone wonders where they went, everyone but the good girl dies in the end, turns out the killer was none other than good girl herself. Plot twist! Cole was unimpressed with the ending, and turned to see if his friends were. Impressed they were not, asleep they were. He shook his head and smiled. He grabbed the remote from the table and turned the television off. That was all the moving he wanted to do. He buckled down and looked for someone to sleep on. Naomi would hit him if she woke up under him in any way. It looked like Paul was his only option. He leaned to the left and let his head fall on Paul's shoulder. Paul didn't resist and moved his head just an inch to make room for Cole.

Cole felt himself drift just into the plain of unconsciousness when there was a frantic knock on the door. He groaned and opened his eyes. All he wanted to do was sleep! He dragged himself to the door and glanced at the peephole. A baby was crying, and he knew what that meant. Cole opened the door and stared at Noah with groggy hostility. "What do you want?"

"I need help," he said, desperation in his voice.

"You said you'd call, dude..."

"Yeah, I know, but that was before I knew what this little shit was like. I need you to help me out. I can't get him to stop crying..."

"Did you change him?"

"Yes," Noah said.

"Did you feed him?"

"Yes."

"Did you burp him?"

"Yes."

"Is he just being fussy?"