[ships are launching from my chest],
some have names but most do not.
if you find one, please let me know what piece i've lost.
Late into the night, snow fell and fell. Luke's nose burned whenever he breathed and he could now understand why some didn't enjoy winter. Temperatures barely passed thirty degrees, and tonight was no exception for Mother Nature.
Liz and Andrew were shopping for their children—nothing worth any real surprise, it was just wrapping paper, but they insisted for the trio not to go. So, Luke decided to go on a walk. He's still trying to decide if it was a good idea.
He was out in the city, Burlington being very lively yet quiet in a way that made him ignore the fact that its weather was causing him to involuntarily shiver every few seconds. With hands buried snuggly in his pockets, Luke walked along the sidewalk while engulfed in thoughts that seemed oddly quiescent in the presence of winter. Snow seemed to have a dreary effect when out at night. It was darker and often times colder.
Luke could relate to this weather; it's how he felt his last year in Vermont. It was all dark and he felt cold—not only in mood by also the warmth that seemed to have left alongside his happiness. Sometimes he found himself in that mindset again, just because it became normal after a while, and then being content and happy was what felt so foreign. It still kind of does, and that's probably why it always lingers.
It was not until ten o'clock, though, that Luke began to realize just how far he had buried the memories of his teenage and young adult years. He had every reason to want to suppress them, but having so much time to think brought them to the surface at the most inconvenient of times. Vermont brought the experiences that Luke had successfully cast away into the depths. Ones that, no matter how hard he tries not to, always have Luke longing for it back every single time he comes into town.
As he walks down an icy sidewalk in the middle of Burlington, they plagued him.
He passed stores and he passed couples, each one reminding him of a different event but all centered around one thing. There was a feeling that he never thought he'd have to experience again, not for a while at least.
It is said that you will always be reminded of who you love, who you fall for. The milestones and feelings you held in your time with that person—when they were your person. Luke had a person once. Someone he gave everything to, and did anything for. It was known to him that the relationship was toxic, but he didn't care; he was loved, it was his first love.
Everything sprouted from freshman year of college, during which Luke attended University of Vermont. It seemed that his life really had experienced the wild, unbelievable things that happen during that time, but also a lot of the underappreciated introspective moments that period of growing up was able to give him.
Luke reached a bench located outside of a small seasonal shop and took a seat after cleaning the spot of any snow. At least now he'd be able to think and sort through the many things going through his mind. Where did it all come from? He was fine when he arrived at the airport, he was fine when he reached his parents' house.
At the very center of them all was someone that, even ten years later, Luke cannot forget. Probably will never be able to, because that's what happens when you love something—even if you let it go.
He wonders where the guy is now; is he still into music like when Luke first met him? Does he still stay up until four in the morning, procrastinating all of the things that should've been done the previous day?
