Posted on July 3, 2022

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I woke up to the sound of rain. I wasn't sure of the time, or even the day. Minutes could have passed, or entire weeks. I didn't keep track anymore. It was all the same anyway. If not for this blog, dates would have no meaning for me at all

The therapist was wrong. Being around people made it worse. Jenn was nothing like Green_J – I wanted nothing from her. Marie was timid and warm, and someone I could be with, but the reality of rejection was too harsh.

The sky outside my window was pitch black and I assumed it was the middle of the night. I had forgotten to take my pills which usually put me out until the sun rises. I thought about quitting the medication for good.

My only hope of being someone, I thought, was being someone online. I needed to create a new Facebook profile. I was ready to go back to what I knew. In my mind, I surveyed potential fake names; Jack, Rommel, Ronnie, Conrad....

As I rolled over, I felt the laptop on the mattress beside me. It surprised me there. I tried to remember bringing it to bed the night before, but couldn't recall.

I turned it on and waited for it to load, thinking of more names – Kevin, Khaled, Keon, Jerome....

It loaded, and a new email notification popped up – an email from someone named Will.

It read:


Date: July 3, 2022 1:17:39 AM GMT-04:00

From: iamwillforever(at)gmail.com

Subject: Roommate

I'm interested in renting. May I take a look at your place?

Will


I leaned over and grabbed the bottle of pills on the floor beside me. My body tingled. 




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