Chapter 1

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The leaves on the trees surrounding the outsider camp have already turned bright crimson. Daytime is finally cool and crisp instead of hot and humid. This is the type of weather I used to enjoy. I wish it would bring me some happiness, but instead, I've never felt emptier. Today is the day Tyler's memories are extracted. Just the thought has clawed out a hole in my heart that nothing seems to fill.

I spent hours watching him and Alfie through that tablet at night. My door would be shut, no light in my room, and everyone would assume I was asleep. The brightness of the screen would burn my eyes, but I could never look away. Not when they screamed as electricity surged through their body. Not when a tube was shoved down their throats when they refused to eat. Not even when I saw their sanity starting to break.

The Kofali were as cold and calculated as I should have expected. It was as if this was their favorite form of entertainment, not minding all the time and energy it took to torture like this. When Tyler and Alfie realized they could hear each other's screams, they tried calling out to each other. Isolation left them desperate for any type of contact. But the Kofali would made sure neither could hear the other. Only the screams.

I can't imagine just how horrible it was in those cells. Forbidden to die, because death was too easy. Forced to eat, forced to stay awake. The room would either be icy cold or unbearably hot. Blindingly bright or too dark to see a thing. You'd lose all perception of time. Unsure of when you last saw another face, let alone spoke to one. And sometimes, you would be given hope just to have it taken away.

When the boys stopped resisting and started eating, their meals got better and the water torture stopped. They would begin to think the worst was over, when suddenly the lights would go out. Water would flood the room. They were kept under for longer, and when the water drained and the electric shocks began, I could tell the voltage was stronger by their amplified cries of agony. They didn't get another meal for who knows how long. When they did, it was back to brown mush that they devoured like wild dogs.

To cope, Alfie started muttering to himself. I could never hear exactly what he was saying, but I caught what sounded like "Rebecca" a few times. Tyler took to drumming his hands on the hard, white floor. He would do this for hours as his head hung down in defeat. One day, he snapped, and that drumming turned into furious punches that started tearing up his hands. I was almost certain he would keep going even if his bones started to break, but a fully-armored Kofali guard stepped in and darted him unconscious.

Watching them was my own way of trying to cope with the guilt of them being there. Elliot called me crazy, but as much as it killed me to watch them, I knew I had to. I could share their pain, pretending like they could feel all the comfort I wanted to offer. Remind myself every day why the Kofali deserved to be destroyed. Seeing him get escorted out this morning, I could tell by the look on his face that he knew where he was going even before they told him. Eyes red. Lip trembling. After everything was explained to him, he finally spoke for the first time in weeks, his voice hoarse as he begged to keep one memory. Just one.

Whatever it was, I doubt they let him keep it.

In the days immediately after I woke up at the outsider camp, I desperately kept trying to get a group together to go out and rescue them. I had no plan, but I had to do something. No one else seemed to have any urgency. Everyone refused me, saying it was too dangerous. Or worse, that there was nothing I could do.

I probably yelled at everyone for a straight week. Insisting that they didn't care. Telling them that they wanted to lose the war. For a while, they stopped trying to calm me down and took to ignoring me. It was only when I made a threat of exposing this camp to the Kofali to force us all out that Damien tossed me in my room, barricaded the door, and took the tablet away. I quieted down long enough to get it back, much to Rebecca's vocal disapproval.

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