Altered Earth (Soldiers of the Earth Book 2)

Chapter 9

I finally get the chance to see Kira for the first time in what feels like years. There's no word on Damien and Grace, but that isn't why she came to see me. She hands me a small box that contains Tyler's notebook and the thin, ratted pink ribbon Ava gave me. I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude that I hug her without thinking about it, and even though it surprises her I see her genuinely smiling as I pull away.

Holding Tyler's notebook in my hands prompts me to ask Kira about how we could get his memories back. She doesn't sugarcoat it. It's doable, but a long process. And it will be very overwhelming for him. The brain can handle the procedure just fine with no physical damage, but his mental state will struggle to sort through and process everything initially. Plus, there's one vital condition: he has to voluntarily want this procedure.

If we force him into it, his mental state will put up too much resistance, causing his brain to corrupt the real memories we're trying to put back. His mind could fight back enough that not only will the procedure fail, his brain could sustain some physical damage as well. And after all options have been exhausted and the procedure is over, he may not be the same person at all anymore. If enough damage has been done, he could end up a shell of his former self.

So, he has to want this. He has to want these memories back. How can we convince him to do that? How can we explain all of this without sounding crazy? Do we become his friends again, gain his trust, and then tell him everything?

That's when Cole comes in to briefly visit me. He hears my questions and is ready with explanations. We can try that method, but it might take time and might fail. One thing that seems to work is triggering fragments of older memories that have held on past the brainwashing. The memory-wipe procedure isn't perfect. It's lengthy, tedious, and there's too many people to put through the procedure to try to get every trace of every memory out. Some small pieces of memories can remain, and with the right prodding, can open a Pandora's box full of older memories that weren't completely erased. When that happens, the person is much more likely to believe and understand that they've been brainwashed. And much more likely to want the procedure to get their old memories back.

It's up to us to figure out how to trigger those memories. Up to me to try and test and figure out what to do until something finally works. There's a chance nothing will. But it's worth trying. Tyler and Alfie are worth it. I relay the information to Rebecca the next morning at breakfast, who seems hopeful for the first time since Alfie was taken. Elliot, Olivia, and Leah are all willing to help. My heart sinks as I realize we could just as easily trigger what Leah has tried to forget. Olivia tells me she only erased Kieran's death and not his entire existence, which makes things slightly easier. But we're going to have to be calculated in what we say to her and hope for the best.

Elliot has taken up a job in the conception research lab, assuring me he will look for Mary and protect her. Rebecca decided on a job in the greenhouse, while Olivia, Leah, and I all registered to train to be soldiers. It's a rigorous training process with many tests, but if we pass, we get to join the ranks. I learn from my orientation that it's likely that Tyler and Alfie are still in training. They haven't been accepted yet, but it won't be long before they are.

We launch ourselves into training as quickly as we can to try to catch up to them. We learn how to use the Kofali guns and learn how to fight without them. We train with weights to strengthen our muscles and run varying long distances to increase our endurance. We learn to climb and tackle and dive, and as the days go on we get enrolled in classes to learn how to fly the fighter ships.

The three of us girls blaze through the training very quickly, putting in extra hours and forgoing breaks. We don't talk to any of the other trainees, just each other. The days become a blur but the focus keeps me sane (and I'm sure the calming chemicals in the food help too). But one day I walk into my first intermediate flight training class and get thrown a curve-ball. Alfie and Tyler are in the room. We finally caught up to them. So much time has gone by that I had figured out how to avoid them in the cafeteria and not think about them too much. So many days had passed that I thought I was doing better. But seeing them again so close by brings everything to the surface again.

There's so many emotions that I was trying to suppress just so that I could get through my days here, but looking at them and knowing they don't remember me hurts. Having Mary not with me hurts. Even though Elliot has reported to me that she's safe, I haven't seen her for myself. The pain of not having them in my life like they once were is unlike anything I've felt. It's a deep ache in my heart that doesn't go away, no matter what I do to distract myself or the "calming" food I eat and the "calming" environment of my room. I barely focus in my class, retreating to my room when it's over and feeling every last bit of my tampered feelings spill out in sobs. I'm crying so hard I can barely breathe, clutching onto the sheets on my bed as my body shakes. The sadness and hurt is building and bubbling over to the point where I want to scream but I can only manage agonized whimpers.

I've been through hell and back. I've fought my way through things I didn't see a way out of over and over again. I've become stronger in so many ways despite the numerous attempts life has taken to try to weaken me. But I'm only holding on because of love. The love of my family. The love of my friends. Their love for me. Now that I'm starting to lose that, I'm falling apart. I don't want to survive in a world without them in it, even if we win this war.

It takes me what feels like hours to compose myself. When I do, I make my way to my parents' room to wait for Annie to get back from class. I hug her tight as soon as she enters the door. She seems to be holding up alright, all things considered. Yet I can see the pain weighing her down too. We play a couple of games together on our tablets, forcing our focus somewhere else.

A knock at the door startles us. As I stand up to open it, I wonder who it could be. Both of our parents are still at their jobs and would have just come in without knocking if it were them. I open it to find Elliot, genuinely smiling.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Mary gave birth. She's healthy and so is the baby, and she's been brought out of her induced coma. I came down to tell you and your family because you'll be able to visit her soon." He reports.

"Oh," Is all I can think to say, relived to know she's safe and that I can see her again but wondering what happens next. Would she ever tell me why she did this?

I catch Elliot's expression as it morphs to worry, his mouth growing tight and his eyes showing that he's lost in thought.

"What is it? Is something wrong?" I think about Mary, even though he just said she's healthy. "Does she not remember us?"

"No, she remembers her family," Elliot brushes away that thought quickly. "I....I just....I've been thinking about this....procedure, process whatever you want to call it now that I've been working there. Now I know that we humans can procreate with the Kofali. But they already knew that. They're trying to get their population up. But I.....I keep thinking, how long have they known that?" His voice is hushed yet thick with emotion. "And....on some chance, would this all explain why I could use their guns....and why my parents were executed?"

Author's Note: Hope you all liked this chapter, please be sure to vote and comment if you did! As always, thank you so much for your continued support. It truly means a lot to me and keeps me going.