A Cannibal's Daughter

i

{the breathing}

The rain brought me peace on days like these I had to visit my mother who was slowly deteriorating in front of me her cancer was getting worst. According to the doctors she didn't have much time two months they gave her two months too long.  She'd be better of dead in this state she's in I always pitied her so close to death but yet so far from it's grasped. My mother was always a bitch her dying would be the happiest I ever felt.

As I await in the waiting area to see her I notice a small child looking at me like if she was reading every thought in my mind "Ms.Capulet she's ready for you" a nurse who's name I never bothered to learn says distracting me quickly getting up I make my way too her.

The room was painted a dusty pink with monitors all over "Look who came to visit her mother" her voice is raspy I force a smile on my face as I sit next to her "Don't I always".

Sitting in the chair the nurse had set up for me I take a look at my mother her hair was all gone and she was as pale as Alaskan snow.  We sit silently before she begins coughing quickly she points to the water. Poring it in the cup her cough because rougher "Here" I say handing it to her "Thank you" she giggles a bit as my eyes met hers "You we're always good at serving weren't you" I breath in deeply ignoring her comments her dude date felt forever

"Two months my ass" I think to myself.

The sound of monitors and oxygen tanks that now helps her dying lungs are prominent filling the room with a reminder she will die one day.

Looking down I tap my foot waiting for the minutes to pass as she rambles about nothing I've learned to ignore her "Clarice I have to tell you something" looking up she is still her eyes sunken her hands shaking "My time on this planet is limited and you deserve to know" I raise an eyebrow as she motions me to sit on the bed next to her. Sitting her icy hands grab onto mine "Come close" I lean in her lips next to my hear "Your father is alive" she whispers I turn to face her our noses almost touching her face serious as all the times I was ever in trouble "What" I whisper "He's alive" my heart drops and my palms begin to sweat "Why would you lie to me" she begins to cough "Because I had to" rage rage is all I can feel "But why"  silence "You wouldn't understand there are things that have happened things that would affect you soon you'll understand everything" I shake my head quickly "Your delusional mother I can't listen to this" quickly I collect my things she rambles behind me I don't wanna listen anymore "Enough" I yell I don't turn to face her "Claries please listen" I shake my head "No mother" I whisper.

Rushing out the hospital I step into the still poring sky breathing it in I open my umbrella before being anymore trenched in it. Walking to my apartment my mind speaks.

  "He's alive"

Digging my fingers into my palm snapped me back to reality I had made it home hardly noticing. "Funny how time works" my thoughts consume me quickly I rush inside.

Slipping my wet shoes off I unbuttoned my trench coat lettings the cold air hit me. As I place my keys on the table I begin to boil water. My head throbs at the thought of what had transpired it didn't help when the kettle screams "Why must everything be so loud".

Sitting on the couch my mind begins to find a explanation for this new found revelation my father was alive and my mother would soon die. Setting the cup down I lay my head on the pillow maybe their was a logical explanation or maybe she was just putty for being left alone to raise a unwanted child.

Ringing was all I could hear the phone was ringing my eyes slowly open rain had stopped but for how long. Turning to the clock it was midnight I must have slept for hours but yet the phone keeps ringing quickly snatching it from the table "Hello yes what is it" my voice says still tired from the hours of sleep "Claries" I stand up and go pour my now cold tea "Yes this she" the line went silent "I'm sorry to inform you but Miss.Capulet has passed on" my eyes widen I no longer feel tired after dose words death had finally taken her I slowly take the phone from my ear and hang up I didn't feel sadness I felt relief she was gone.

Three days later we held her funeral she was buried next to my sister what a pity for her. My aunt and cousin came as well but didn't stay long before walking away soon I joined them as well going to open my car door I could hear a faint whisper of my name I turn to see my aunt walking towards me "Claries your mother wanted me to give this to you" she says handing me a baby blue box I give her a smile before I jump inside my car paying no mine to the box.

Arriving home I placed the box next to a pile of text books and ignored it leaving it there to collect dust like every other thing in my life.

When midnight came around I couldn't sleep even though she was dead her voice and face still haunted me she would never go away. I lay there as I watched the car lights pass counting as a new one came along time felt like it had stopped just for me every second felt like an hour. So I had decided to go and eat something to take my mind of things as I passed by my crowded desk the blue shoe box catches my eye I grab it and toss it on my table as I go to pour me a cup of coffee. Sitting in front of the box it looms over me like a dark cloud I grab it and open it inside we're papers, letters, notes, and most importantly my birth certificate.

Putting it to the side and look at the letters some from my other others from someone else 'H.L' I think to myself "Who the hell is that" I whisper I then turn back to my certificate my name, birthday, and hospitals name were on it but something else was there as well "Mother" her name was on it her beautiful cursive which I was always jealous of was there "Father" and there he was his name don't remember his face but now I have his name "Hannibal Lecture" that name sounds familiar but I don't know why I've heard it before not from her but from someone else.

Rubbing my forehead my head begins to pound "Fuck" I pull out my laptop and start googling names his name to me specific "Where are you, you sneaky fuck" I say as I scroll threw pages until I stumble upon one for a psychiatrist. Scrolling threw I spot the familiar cursive signature as in the certificate it was him I found my man.

With the early hours of the morning coming in and my lack of sleep I called his office the phone rings for a minutes but no answer "You have reached the office of Dr.Lecture our hours our from 9am-10pm please feel free to contact us during these times or leave a voicemail after the beep" the voicemail said "Hi my name is Claries Capulet I was hoping I can make an appointment with you sometime please give me a call back".

As I hang up I breathe a sign of relive was this man the real deal or was he another lie created by my mother I wonder what would happen to me what would he say. I could only guess and wait for Mr.Lector.

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{Hello guys!!!
I am so sorry for not updating this story in a while I was in the hospital for a while and needed a break from all social media's. But now I'm back (hopefully) and will start updating whenever I possible can}