Always

7. Chapter

-June-

I stare at the blowing branch over my head.

Each time I lay under the tree I wonder how much longer it would take for the branch to fall down and make an end to my miserable existence. 

Okay, I am a little desperate and exaggerating.

I touch my pounding cheek and sigh.

I have always been naive enough to believe that destiny had its own intricate ways to bind persons to each other. Every situation, every event had one simple explanation in my eyes: Destiny!

Things happen because they are meant to be to happen, someone could choose the path but not change the result. I know that I would have met Roberto again one day or the other and it didn't matter if I met him here or somewhere else, it would have been painful anyway.

I believed that we were meant to love each other forever and beyond, but forever had seemed so tight after my abduction. I can't blame him for falling in love with another women and the desire to marry her.

It is destiny, I guess.

„Anthony went to the police station."

Nathalie startles me, as always and I watch her sitting down on the sunlounger next to me.

„If I had known that he is your Roberto, I wouldn't have let you walked right into that trap."

„He's not my Roberto, Nat."

Nathalie pushes her hair out of her face. „Do you need something for that bruise?"

"I took an aspirin this morning, it should do."

"What are you going to do?"

I shrug because I have no idea. "I feel totally railroaded."

"That might be the hangover."

"Anthony was totally hammered. Me too."

"I was worried to death when Riccardo called."

"Why did you ask him to come?" The question had tormented me the whole night.

"I didn't."

My heart should be less excited about it but I can't help myself to smile a little.

"We've made up. Anthony and me."

"Finally. At least I don't have to get knocked out again to make you understand that."

Nathalie smiles embarrassed and watches the bouncing branch over us.

"We should fix that branch." She determines and I am surprised how good the tiny word we feels. I catch myself so many times thinking about staying but I don't know how my future is going to look with Anthony and Nathalie as a couple and Roberto and his wife around. I feel like the fifth wheel and I wonder if I could really stay and live happily ever after without feeling that back-breaking pain in my chest everytime I'd see him.

"You thought about him, didn't you?"

"Mhm?"

"When I asked you to remember a very intense moment of your past. I've always thought that you were thinking of the abduction, but you thought of him, right?"

I nod bitterly. "I wouldn't want to think of anyone else."