In a huff, Ryn sat before her mirror and glowered at her reflection. She wanted to scream at her predicament. Why couldn’t the king’s shuttle have broken down in someone else’s field? Bringing fists to her temples, she took a deep breath.
Moments earlier, after the king had departed, she argued and whined with her Da. Whatever tentative deal was struck, she didn’t care anymore. She’d relented and even agreed—begged—to go back to the Academy. Anything to sway her father’s stand to her favor. She’d even contemplated running away, taking her horse and supplies and riding hard into the interior of the country. And hide.
But her father’s words that she was going against the wishes of a king rankled her thoughts, and guilt festered. Ryn realized her Da had proposed to draw out the talks to span a few more days. Perhaps he sought out loopholes they could wiggle out of. Perhaps. In the end, Ryn yielded, it was her decision. Though it made her feel cheap and shallow, the offer was their ticket out of their financial predicament.
She remembered her father’s expression. He had stood mutely, insulted but…servile. She’d never seen her father behave that way, like he was a soldier once more, obediently following the orders of his superiors. The king didn’t make it an order, but he very well could have, and she would have had to comply rather than have her father speak for her like some voiceless woman of the Dark Ages. Instead, she had been offered a tempting choice. Like her Mam had always said, she had to choose for herself. Ryn chewed the inside of her mouth. She hadn’t been giving much time, or options. Had she made the right decision?
“Ryn?”
Her father’s voice stirred her out of her thoughts. He stood in her doorway, his fingers working at some knot in the frame, his eyes not meeting hers. She considered screaming at him, dragging out the fight like a child, but he looked hunched and ashen. Tears immediately welled up in her eyes, obscuring her vision.
“Da. What have I done?” she sputtered. “I can’t do this!”
He shuffled into her room, unhurried, and sat heavily at the end of her messy bed. Resting his elbows to his bony knees, he leaned head into hands. A long, tired breath wheezed out of him.
“I know, Ryn. It’s a lot to ask of you. I know. But it’s a way out. Hate me for the rest of your life, if it’ll make you feel better. Or would you rather we live hand to mouth in the big city, scrabbling out a life like vermin?”
“I know it is.” The fear of the unknown future with the king terrified her. And her hasty decision to marry. A decision made because the sight of her defeated father pained her to see. Sometimes, what the Royals made you do was shameful. Ryn sniffed, anger now replacing her tears. “That’s all you’ve been saying. You think I don’t know this?”
“It’s expensive to live in the city. We can’t even grow food—not in those small apartments. And who’s to say I can find a job easily? I’m not a young man, and soldiering is the only thing I know how to do other than growing cabbage.”
“How many times are you going to repeat yourself?”
“Until you grasp our situation. I may find work as a mechanic, but that is it? You? What can you do? An Academy dropout, a farmer’s daughter with no skills. You’ll be lucky if you found work as a server or cleaner. Suck it up and accept this offer.”
Ryn wanted to hurt her father. Make him feel the sting, the hurt and betrayal she felt from being traded like livestock. “You gave up your only daughter to marry an old man who doesn’t even care about her? All he wants is his precious outposts. You’re selling me off. What would Mam say?”
Da turned away; his shoulders drooped. “You agreed. I supported in formal discussions. Reneging on an agreement is dishonorable. You’re a citizen of Halantia and Strium. You’ve been given an opportunity to help us all by stopping a man who wants to destroy us. Have some pride, integrity to your homeworld.” He inhaled deeply. “Even your Mam would understand that.”
