I have no idea what this is. this is just really random and I was bored so I wrote this... yEAHHH ( sorry for any mistakes or errors I am tired oOps )
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I sat there impatiently in the waiting room. I couldn't help my shaking hands and my foot tapping the ground rapidly. The nurse finally stepped out of the room and gave me a nod of approval. I quickly got up and rushed into the room where Kellin was. He was watching television while eating noodles. He stopped eating and looked up at me.
"Hello." He said softly, a small smile forming on his face. I tried to smile back but couldn't because my lips started trembling.
"Are you okay?" He asked, looking confused.
"Y-Yeah, I am." I said, my voice cracking. "How are you feeling?"
He put his half eaten bowl of noodles on the table next to him and let out a small sigh. "I'm doing good, I guess. I'm just bored. All I do is stay in this bed because my nurse says I'm not able to leave yet." He mumbled.
"Well, I have some good news. I talked to her the other day and she said she would allow me to take you somewhere," I spoke. His face quickly lit up with happiness and excitement. He was about to say something but I cut him off before he could respond. "Do you remember what today is?"
He looked down at his hands and shut his eyes, trying to remember. "Um," he said. "N-No. I don't." He answered.
I felt my heart break a little but I knew that would be his response. He doesn't remember anything, nothing at all. I regret letting him leave that night so fucked up. It was my fault though. If I hadn't yelled at him, we wouldn't have gotten into a fight, he wouldn't have gotten into an accident. I fucked up his life, and I had to live knowing that for the rest of mine.
"Today marks our four year anniversary," I spoke softly trying to hold back my tears. "And I asked your nurse if we can do something special for today, and that's why we are going out."
Kellins face fell into a sad one. "Vic, I do--"
"And I am going to take you to your favorite restaurant. You would never shut up about how much you loved their food and the live music they played there. And we can dance just like old times. And after we can go to yo--"
"Vic!" Kellin shouted, cutting me off. "Please, stop." He said his voice cracking slightly. I noticed that he had started crying and I went over to try and wipe the tears away but he pushed me back.
"P-Please, I can't do this anymore. This has been going on for two months, Vic. I-I try to remember but I can't, I just can't! And I hate seeing you like this. Always choked up and trying to get me to remember and getting sad when I can't," He choked out. "I think you should stop visiting me, forget about me, move on! I can't remember and I never will. You should stop trying and go out and live your life."
I couldn't help but let out a small sob as I put my head in my hands and started crying. "Don't you understand that I can't move on! I tried, Kellin. I really tried to move on. But I am so in love with you that I can't. I know you can't remember, but I love you. I love you so much." I sobbed out.
We were both sitting there crying. Maybe he was right, maybe I should give up. As much as I didn't want to, I know Kellin wanted me to move on. Soon the room was filled with silence and that's when I decided to speak up.
"I'll go. I'll stop coming," I choked out. "But, can you just promise me one thing?"
"Yes." He said.
"Can... can you act like you love me? Just for five minutes, please. I'll go after that. I know it's a weird question bu--"
"Yes, I will. Come here." He said, cutting me off and patting to the empty spot next to him. I got up and walked over to the bed and laid down next to him. I put my head on his chest and he started playing with my hair.
This was different, usually he would be in the position I am in now. But I didn't care, I just wanted to feel some type of affection. We laid there in silence, all that was to be heard was our breathing. I could hear his heartbeat since my head was on his chest. The sounds of the beat soothed me and I found myself drifting off to sleep.
But that didn't last long. I woke up in a panic when I heard the buzzing sound of a machine. I got off the bed and noticed it was his heart monitor. I quickly sprinted out of the room and started shouting for a nurse or a doctor. Soon three people were rushing to his room.
I rushed back into the room and watched them as they tried to bring him back to life. His body was limp and paler than usual. I collapsed to the ground and started crying. Please, please, let him come back. Oh god, he doesn't deserve any of this. I should have been the one who had gotten into the accident!
The buzzing sound was still going off and then the room fell silent. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I wiped my eyes and looked up. "I'm sorry." The nurse said. I didn't say anything else instead I got up and ran out of the hospital. I got in my car and put my head on the steering wheel before letting it all out.
I want to die. I want to die. That should have been me.
I couldn't do anything, I felt useless right now. I couldn't kill myself, I would never do that, he wouldn't want me to. He would want me to move on, and that's what I'm going to do. Not now, but soon, later in life.
I started my car and drove to our house. I got inside and walked up to our room, grabbing a photo of us and laying down in our bed. I was still crying, but not as much. I laid on my side and held the photo to my chest before falling asleep.
