Em Is Gone

Graduation

I was overall devastated with what Em had done but I don't have I choice now she is dating billy again.

I didn't want to think of it plus I told myself it's okay I was graduating a straight a student anyways.

But when I think about it it's like Em used me to move on from billy just to go back to him.

I never really get to say goodbye properly there was no closure between our relationship.

I had to go and do all my daily routine again I went to art convention drank my favorite coffee but worst of all wake up with no one beside me.

Sometimes I cry myself to sleep or over think until my head hurts I just plainly tortured myself.

She was my bestfriend, my lover, my princess and my everything.

I felt like sooner or later I'd be fine but I wasn't I asked God for one more shot then I got it.

But I ruined it again. Maybe she's really not for me no matter how much of myself I give.

I got into several therapy and medical treatment to mend my scar.

But as deep as I go the more I realize there's no cure from Em.

Em became a local joke around my friends but what they don't know is that I am strongly affected.

I couldn't handle my emotional state and I would not like to know what the future had for me.

I wanted to end things right here right now.

I shouted "YOU WOULDN'T MISS ME ANYWAY RIGHT EM!?"

I hit my head on the wall until it hurts so bad everyday was just torture.

I was an artist who couldn't see the beauty of things anymore all the art that I projected were rejected.

I was a mess and my heart was broken I can feel it from the inside.

Probably most of you could relate to my situation right now but that's not the point.

I stayed as strong as I can knowing that ending my own life wasn't worth it.

I hold on to every beauty that I could possibly see in life.

I lie to myself everyday saying you know what everything is going to be okay you are going to be okay.

Nothing wrong is going on heart all is well.

Common phrases I hear from myself everyday.

I continued till I got a job.

I had a stable life with a broken heart.

Believing in the lies I tell.

Forgetting the memories that haunts me every night.

I was promoted from my job and I got more and more happy.

Exept I was in a different state from happy to depressed.

From my study I see in the lamplight our old photos.

Medications only made me feel worse

I decided for myself to stop medication and go on with life make anything I can make.

I hear her voice in my sleep.

I feel her breath in the air.

I remember that sweet aroma from her coffee and that sweet smile of hers.

But everything is different now isn't it.

I had a new notification on twitter.

It was her she sent me a DM

I checked Em's DM.

It was an apology letter how she did not intend any of those but the damage had been done.

She wanted to cut off all communications and just move on with life.

At the end she said thanks for being my best friend.

And I simply replied

"No matter if things change between us we were best friends and we'll always be"

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Now I want to talk about something serious.

Ending your life won't help.

Keep moving forward

Our love story was never meant to end happy

So make yours end happy cause everyone has a different story

Em if you are reading this I've always Loved you and thanks for being there for me.

Billy thanks for taking care of Em I trust you man, and I do care about you.

Mom Dad thanks for being there when I need you.

Congratulations on your new son Em!

Thank you for letting me express my feelings through this book.

Love stories don't need a happy end it needs a proper closure.

Billy Em and Will thanks for going to my art convention weekly

To the readers I thank you for reading and I hope you learn something new.

Make your love story work.

No matter if things change between us we were best friends and we'll always be Em.