Stuck in the hatezone (Larry Stylinson)

Out of control

Louis' POV

Who did Harry think he was hm? Couldn't he just shut up for one fucking minute and stop messing with everything? Gosh how hated Harry. Couldn't he just fuck off? That little peace of shit.

I was just walking around not knowing where to go. Soon things will change, I thought. At this moment I was sad but anger grew in me. I was so mad at Harry I could've burned a whole house down. It would've felt good to destroy something now. Louis Tomlinson is no one who lets somebody do this him. My body and my brain was filled of anger. I was furious with Harry. Either somebody had to hold me or I didn't know what I was able to do. Since I was little my anger was uncontrollable. It's really not that I'm aggressive but if something's really important to me I'd go for everything and I don't stop for anybody.

My anger guided me back to the house what unfortunately i could call my home. As early as I turned the key I was out of my mind. I went straight through the kitchen where I found Harry's mum doing the dishes.

"Louis" Harry's mum said surprised. I took a plate and threw it on the floor. It broke in thousand peaces and I started yelling at Anne.

"Who do you and your little cunt think you are huh? You're NOT my family and nothing will ever make me accept you not to mention like you. You fucking don't deserve my dad and this relationship won't last longer than all the others ok?! Harry is such a little fucker, this guy is so out of level, this stupid son of a whore." tears were already streaming down Anne's face. She didn't even defend Harry and herself. She was just staring at me while the tears streamed down her face. I realised nothing at this moment. The time had come for me to freak out and if there won't be any changes this won't be the last time.

I continued screaming. "You don't even know what family means. You don't even know what love is. You don't even know how not to be stupid. You and your little son destroyed my family and my life and I ain't gonna do nothing about this. You don't deserve to be treated with respect. You-" I was interrupted by my dad standing in the door.

"Louis!" he screamed. "What the hell was that?"

"I just said out loud what I think. Something wrong with that? You are the one who always says how important it is to have the guts to say ones own opinion and that's what I fucking did?" I yelled back.

"Well yes but that's not how you do it."

"Oh ok. And how do you do it? Beat around the bush so one never knows what you want to say? Sorry but not my style."

"I'll show you what's your style, son. Don't you dare to talk to anybody like this again, did you understand me?" my dad asked. I didn't react so he repeated it louder. "DID YOU UNDERSTAND ME, LOUIS?!"

Meanwhile Anne were sitting on a chair and cried a river. Gosh how I hate my life right now. I still didn't reply to my dad instead I just went out of the room and then out of the house again.

I didn't know what to do. But principally I realised what has just happened. Let's summarize this. Harry was being a faggot so I screamed at Anne whereat my dad screamed at me and now I were standing outside on a street and it was just about to rain. I was still unsure if what I did was what I really wanted to do but I couldn't hold it back. It just kind of happened. It came out of my mouth as if I would've choked if I wouldn't have let it out. It was like an instinct. As if one half of me said 'Do it'. Since my mum died I have moments like this regulary.

So i just walked down the streets in the rain. My mind was empty and my feelings either. There was just one question in my head. 'Why?'. This is what my whole life is about. 'Why?'. Everyone knows this big whole Why. The problem is my life has become this big I don't know and for me it just became a why. Why did my mum die? Why couldn't my dad understand me? Why did this have to happen? Why was my life the way it was? And why didn't I have this one special person. Who cares about me. Who accepts me the way I am. Who understands me without saying a word. Who makes me feel better when I'm sad. Who actually needs me in their life. Who becomes my everything just by being themself. Who loves me? That's the part of my life that actually sucks the most. And that had to be pretty much if you see how much even this situation sucks. I never had this one person in my life. My "friends" always tell me how wonderful I am and that somewhere in this world is the right person for me, I just have to wait. Well, I didn't want to wait anymore. I've waited long enough I think. Because some day it'll be too late. Do you know the feeling to be so broken that you think nothing can ever fix it anymore? Yes? That's how I feel. This feeling is the reason for all the anger that I let out. I couldn't even be nice to people anymore because I'm not fine. I'm never fine. And there we have the 'why' again.

It started raining harder and gradually my mind came back. But I still didn't want to go home so I decided to go to Tess' house which was like far away but i think running is good for me now. It helps me forget about things just for the moment and relaxes me a bit.

When I finally reached Tess' house I was all wet. I didn't even have to knock or ring since Tess was faster. "What causes the visit Tomlinson?" Tess said considering me from top to bottom.

"Yeah, glad to see ya either." I answered and Tess smiled.

"Come in, wet boy." She said with a grin on her face. I could've punched her in the face but no. "So, what leads you here hm?"

"Guess I just need someone... you know."

"To talk?" she asked knowing that she was right and that I hated it to admit it if I felt like it.

"Yes." I said as quiet as possible.

"What's wrong?"

"Well, it's just the good old problem. I hate everything. Do you ever feel like you have to tell everyone what you think otherwise you'd explode?"

"Yes, why?"

"Well I think I exploded while telling what I think."

"How so?"

"I went to Anne in the kitchen and told her everything. That I hate the situation we're in and the people and... I kind of, erm, insulted her and Harry. Then my dad came and stopped me from continuing. And-"

"Wait you did what?" Tess asked me and laughed a bit.

"So you think it's funny?"

"Yeah, a lot." she laughed even louder.

"Wow majority of people would tell me now how wrong I am and how immature that was and if I didn't know what I did there and all you do is laughing."

"I'm Tess, I never do what everyone else does. I thought you know me."

"I do." I just said and started laughing, too. My mood was up again and Tess and I talked and laughed together until we fell asleep.