Stuck in the hatezone (Larry Stylinson)

I can't change

A/N: hey guys, so we've decided to dedicate this chapter to @gabriella_idek because she votes for us and comments and we just wanted to thank her. Thanks a lot. We love youu.x


Louis' POV


When I woke up the next morning I still felt kind of guilty. I was hoping it gets better over the night but nothing. I just hoped that dad got better because I didn't know how to talk with him now at all. Everything was alright. Alright until yesterday. Gladly Harry's mum reacted positive but that didn't impress me that much since dad was the exact opposite. But why did he have a problem with me being gay? I just wanted him to accept it. Well, to be honest I wanted him to be happy for me and proud of me and not just accept it. And all of the sudden everything changed. Not even long ago I hated my new family aka Anne and Harry and this whole change of everything. And now everything I hated was myself. For being it. Being gay. Fuck. Why couldn't I be normal? Why did I have to fall for a boy? Why couldn't I just be like everyone else and be attracted to girls?


"Because normal is boring." a raspy voice interrupted my thoughts following by curls covering my face.


"Wait what. Did I just say that out loud?" I asked in shock.


"You just said 'why can't I just be normal' and I answered that normal is boring because it is."


It made me smile and it made me realize how much I loved Harry.


"I love you." I said and gave Harry a little kiss on his lips.


"I guess I'm going to talk to my dad now." I added.


"Don't you think that maybe I should join? Because maybe it would help to hear my point as well." Harry suggested.


"Yeah maybe that'd be better. Thank you."


"Everything for you." Harry grinned with an adorable smile.


"C'mon. Lets at least try. We have nothing to loose right?" I said doubtfully.


"Sadly damn right."


So we went through the house searching for my dad. We then found him in his and Anne's bedroom. He was on phone with someone and he sounded desperately. When he saw us coming in he ended the phone call.


"Can we... Can we speak to you?" I asked nervous.


"That's why I stopped so what's up?"


"You didn't seem really happy when we told you that we were together. Is there any problem?"


Dad's eyes were still pointing at his feed but then he turned his head up.


"If there's a problem? Yes there is a problem." He started yelling a bit but still tried to controll himself.


"But where's the problem with me loving a boy? Where's the-" I stopped when dad interrupted me.


"You don't get it. I don't have a problem with you being gay, Louis. You two are brothers. That's-"


"We're no brothers." I interrupted dad now.


"Yes you are!"


"I don't know if you noticed but Harry's mum and Harry's dad are not my parents."


"But now Harry's mum is your mum. She's my partner and I want to spend my life with her. We are family now. What do you think will happen if a we have two guys who are in a relationship?"


And that was the point where I got very angry at him because I realised what his actual point was.


"Oh now I get it. You are just worrying about what other people will say. Because you can't handle it when someone doesn't like you or your family."


"Th-that's not true, Louis. It-"


"Yes it is. You're afraid of people talking behind your back. You're afraid of hearing something like 'Oh my god your son is gay? Oh and in love with his brother? Oh'. Because that is your actual point. You care more about your image than about the happiness of your family." And that was the point where I started to cry. but I still yelled at him. It was horror but I was sad, angry and disappointed at the same time.


"But, Louis-"


"Nothing 'but Louis' that's it ,isn't it? I'm right don't lie at me."


Dad now just stared at me and said nothing. But sometimes silence speaks louder than words.


"Fine." I said disappointed. I grabbed Harry's wrist and went to the door. But right before walking out I turned around for a last time. "You always wanted me to accept and respect your girlfriends and I at least tried everytime. No matter how stupid they were. Don't expect me to still do this because you don't fulfill what you want from me."


And then we went out of the room and back to ours. The first thing I did was sitting down on my bed and thinking. Thinking of what to do now. And all my mind told me was 'I don't want to be here anymore.' I'm going to run. Run away. Again.


"I'm going to leave." is said to Harry started packing a few things together to put them in my bag.


"So you want to run away again yeah? I remember that you were over this running away part."


"But it's for a different reason now."


"No it's not. You're running away from your problems and that's what you did before as well."


"No. I always had left because I couldn't deal with things. Now I run away because others can't deal with me. Why should I stay if no one wants me to."


"I want you to stay. Isn't that enough?"


"It won't get any better if I stay. Dad will see me constantly. He won't change his mind. But I think it makes much of a difference for him if I'm there or not. You can come with me if you want to."


"But do you even know where you want to go? I mean if yore leaving now then you're going nowhere, right?"


"I don't care. I left so many times not knowing where to go and I always found some place."


"But-"


"Nothing but. I'm going to leave. Will you come with me?"


I could see how Harry thought about what would happen if he did and what if he didn't.


"Yes." He said.


"Really, Styles? Then pack a few things."


And that's what Harry did.


"How long are you planning on staying away?" Harry asked.


"You can't plan that. You go back when you feel like going back. That's something you can't explain."


"Erm ok." Harry said.


So when we finished grabbing a few things we took our stuff and went out.






"Hey hey! Where do you think you're going, Louis?"


Fuck. Dad noticed us.


"Away."


"Louis Tomlinson you're not going to run away again and especially don't take Harry with you."


"You don't want us here so what are we doing here anyways?"


"I never said I don't want you to be here."


"But I don't like being around people who are ignoring me because they don't like the way I live."


And with this sentence I took Harry's hand and continued walking. When we were to far away from dad to hear or see us Harry started taking.


"That's a fucking strange feeling."


"What do you mean? Did you never run away from home? Did you always do what your parents said?"


"Well I never did stuff like that. Like not that rebellious."


"Rebellious." I laughed a bit. "What you feel, Harry, is adrenaline. It's the knowledge that the things you do might have consequences but you still enjoy it. You want to do it though you know it may not be right."


I caught Harry staring at me while I was talking.


"I love you." he mumbled nearly already in my mouth before he kissed my lips softly.


"I love you too, curly."


"Should I tell you something?"


"I'm listening."


"Though I never did something like that and I don't know what will happen next I'm not afraid. Do you know why?"


"I guess you're going to tell me."


"Because I'm with you."


"You know that sounds very cheesy, don't you?" I laughed.


"Yes and guess what I don't care."


"You're such a weirdo."


"I know."