As I walk the way to his house,
I do my best not to think about it.
He's on his phone,
arguing with the one that he left us for.
This morning she made it known,
that they met long before I knew she even existed.
She's always been the problem.
For over 15 years.
She was the one he kept going back to,
and now that he has her,
I wonder.
Was destroying my family worth it?
Worth killing my mind and leaving me terrified?
Worth leaving my mom, so I could watch her cry herself to sleep each night?
Worth leaving me, so I had to learn to save myself in times of fright?
Worth ruining a family, that could've been happy.
Was she truly worth my childhood?
Were any of you worth an innocent mind missing out on the good in life?
I refuse to believe everything was going downhill.
Mom and him argued, but they always got back together.
They were happy sometimes.
they could've fixed it.
That is until,
it went sideways.
He left and stayed away.
Then came back and ruined an already broken family.
Now it's just constant yelling.
Yelling at mom,
for not being strong enough to handle this and forcing me to fake it,
yet really,
she's still holding on for us,
for the kids.
Yelling at her,
for taking him away from me and telling me I'm worthless,
yet really,
he let this happen.
Yelling at him,
for leaving everyone behind and still expecting us to love him,
yet really,
he's the one who let this happen.
So I give no reaction other than hurt.
Yelling at me,
for not being the same,
for hiding away,
yet still fighting back all the same.
Everyone's just yelling,
because they broke this family.
Yelling,
because there's nothing left to fix me.
