Mirrors {Sequel to Ghosts}

My Ghost, Where'd You Go?

Lynn P.O.V. will be up soon - maybe the next chapter. Also I'm so sorry for the long wait! I've been busy with school and some other stuff. If any of you want to yell at me for not updating you can just DM me and I'll respond haha

{unedited}

Lynn was draped across a chair in the room we were staying in at Jess's. We were back in Oregon, and Jess insisted that all of us stay at her house. The boys were currently sleeping on the pull out couch in the living room that they had gotten overly excited about. I was sitting on the small bed that Lynn and I were sharing, emailing with Dane, one of Lynn's old friends. 

We wanted to meet up with him soon, and he suggested coming to visit in Oregon while Lynn and the boys played some shows in the state. 

It was good to be back home. I hadn't gone back to visit the music shop yet, but I planned on doing it early the next morning. I was excited to see how it had changed since I had left. But I was also afraid that it would bring up feelings that would cause me to want to stay. I just continued to miss the dim lighting and warm atmosphere of the store. A large part of me wanted all that back but I couldn't let myself have it. That would mean giving up everything. Including Lynn.

"I miss home..." I said, closing my laptop and setting it to the side. Lynn looked up from her book and gave me a sad look. "Me too. But we'll back in Boston soon. Just one more month baby," she replied tiredly, blinking slowly. I shifted in my place on the bed. "I mean..here. I miss it here a lot," I mumbled, not sure why I was telling her all of this. Lynn set her book down on the table beside her and got up, sitting on the bed next to me. "I know. I miss it too," she admitted, stroking my arm gently. 

I sighed and leaned against her, my shorts exposing my bare legs. I bit my tongue, feeling self conscious. I wrapped them around her waist and sat there while she hummed a song, her chin resting on the top of my head. "Will we work out?" I wondered, playing with Lynn's necklace. "Why do you ask that? Of course we will. I love you," she answered, running her hands through my hair. "But is that enough?" I croaked, my voice threatening to break as tears clouded up my vision.

Lynn leaned back and looked me in the eyes, a hard, serious expression painted on her face. "Why would you say that? Is me loving you not enough? Is that not good enough for you?" Lynn asked, her voice cold and serious. She let go of me and I looked at her, unable to speak. I had messed up. I knew I shouldn't have brought anything up. I didn't know if just us loving each other was enough. There were other things getting in the way, and I felt like someday we may grow so far apart that we wouldn't even know each other anymore.

That was what terrified me. I didn't mean to pour salt in her wounds. I was just scared.

"Ava, answer me. Why would you say that?"

My breath was shaky, and I felt my heart begin to pound faster and faster. "I'm just scared that it isn't enough. That one of us will decide that it isn't. I've noticed that the tours have been pulling us apart and I'm scared," I croaked, playing with the sleeve of my sweater. "That's what you think? Do you really think I'm going to leave you Ava?" Lynn questioned, standing up. She crossed her arms and stared me down. I felt my throat close up and I could only stare at her, unable to say anything.

Lynn scoffed, shifting her weight to the side. "So that's the kind of person you think I am. The kind that pretends to love you and then throws you away. You know that's really fucking great to know, Ava. Thanks a lot. My own girlfriend doesn't even trust me," she exclaimed, her voice cold and harsh. 

I stared up at her. "You did before. You cheated on me with Alexa," I growled, feeling anger bubble inside of me. I didn't know what I was saying, but for some reason I couldn't control myself. "I know I fucking did. I paid for it every single day. I still do! And I'm sorry. But stop fucking putting that on me and acting like you never did anything!" Lynn said, raising her voice. 

"I NEVER DID ANYTHING! THIS WHOLE TIME I'VE BEEN BY YOUR SIDE. I GAVE UP EVERYTHING FOR YOU! MY HOME, MY JOB, MY FRIENDS. SO DON'T YOU DARE SAY I HAVE FUCKED UP BECAUSE ALL I'VE DONE IS SACRIFICE EVERYTHING FOR YOU LYNN! BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU!! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SACRIFICE ANYTHING!" I yelled, standing up to face her. She stared back at me, the anger in her eyes flaring. "Fuck you, Ava. You think I haven't given up anything for you?" she spat, shaking her head at me.

"No, I don't." I hissed. 

"You're such a bitch sometimes! I always make sure you're okay but you know what? I'm tired. I'm so so tired but I just want to make sure you're okay! Don't you dare say I didn't give up anything for you. I never see my family! I never see friends! I spend every day with you! Is that not enough?!" She exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air. 

"YOU DON'T GET IT! I THREW AWAY MY LIFE FOR YOU! I BUILT A NEW ONE. FOR YOU! SO YEAH, FUCK YOU TOO LYNN!" I screamed, unable to take it anymore. Anger pulsed through my veins and I resisted the urge to punch a wall and just continue to scream at her. Did she not understand how much I gave up for her? I left everything behind just so I could be with her and she could pursue her dream. I was anything but selfish and for her to say I was was a fucking lie.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? I'M SORRY YOU GAVE UP SO MUCH BUT IT WAS YOUR DECISION! YOU NEVER HAD TO SAY YES! BUT YOU CHOSE IT!" she yelled back. She walked away from me and opened the bedroom door. "I'm leaving," she growled. "Go fuck yourself."

She slammed the door behind her, leaving me with a broken heart and tears running down my cheeks.