Lunar Chronicles Oneshots

Oneshot #6: Letters to Kinney

--December 2, 126 T.E.
--Across the hall; Lunar Palace
Sir Smelly Kinney,
This is to inform you that you are fired from the palace.
Worst regards,
Totally Queen Selene

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--December 2, 126 T.E.
--Across the hall; Lunar Palace
"Totally Queen Selene",
As I am most certain that the Queen would not need to include the word totally in her letter, and that she is mature enough to leave out smelly, I will proceed to infer that this is the morbid machine. Therefore, I will not take the previous letter seriously, IKO. Know that impersonating a queen is illegal.
Hope you fall into the lake.
~Kinney

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--December 2, 126 T.E.
--Across the hall; Lunar Palace
Sir Not Smelly Kinney,
You dare defy my wo-- I should have written in pencil. Can you believe pen isn't erasable? How stupid.
Yes, Kinney, you have figured me out. I am indeed Iko, the NOT morbid android.
Be informed that Cinder would never put me in jail, so HA! SUCK IT!
Really wishing I could erase that again...
Hoping you die in a hole,
Iko

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--December 2, 126 T.E.
--Across the hall; Lunar Palace
Iko,
I would like to know why you are writing me letters and throwing them at my face from across the hall as I guard Cinder's door. You realize you could come speak to me...
~Kinney
P.S.: You are so unprofessional

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--December 2, 126 T.E.
--Across the hall; Lunar Palace
Kinney,
Well then why are you throwing letters back, huh? Besides, your breath smells.
Un-sincerely,
Iko

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--December 2, 126 T.E.
--Across the hall; Lunar Palace
Iko,
I didn't know androids could even write.
~Kinney

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--December 2, 126 T.E.
--Across the hall; Lunar Palace
Kinney,
You wasted paper on one sentence? What is wrong with you? Do you not know how rare paper is nowadays? Aces!
There are a lot of things androids can do. Care for a demonstration?
Your enemy,
Iko

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--December 2, 126 T.E.
--Across the hall; Lunar Palace
Iko,
I have time off in an hour. Care to show me then?
~Kinney

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--December 2, 126 T.E.
--Across the hall; Lunar Palace
Kinney,
See you then, jerk face.
Average regards,
Iko

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--December 2, 126 T.E.
--2nd door to the left, fifth floor, guard corridors; Lunar Palace
Kinney,
Can you please explain why I found Iko trying to eat some berries in the kitchens?
-Cinder

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--December 2, 126 T.E.
--The Throne Room; Lunar Palace
Cinder,
YOU TOLD HIM I WAS CHEATING?! HOW COULD YOU?! I WAS TRYING TO PROVE A POINT!
Love,
Angry Iko

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--December 3, 126 T.E.
--The Gardens; Lunar Palace
Iko,
Care for some berries?
~Kinney