I find it funny when one day one person can mean everything to you and the next it can be pure hate.
I dated this guy in highschool... Yeah typical! Well short story short we dated for 8 months and within those 8 months he cheated on me the whole time we dated with his " duh duh duh" get ready for it... His ex.
Of course I suspected it but whenever I called him out on it he would deny it and manipulate me and tell me I couldn't trust him and turn it round on me!
he was my first for a lot of things.
I broke up with him and it took me a while to get over him.
But oh it gets better after about a year after he and I have broken up he comes back and tries to tell me he's still in love with me and that he made a mistake. I found out his ex cheated on him.
So of course me and my stupid heart crawled back to him.
He told so many things that I really thought I could believe. Because of him and other Guys who only wanted sex from me ruined my trust for not just guys in general but man kind.
He would only want my attention when it was convinent for him. Never for me. Only wanted me when he was feeling " turned on" or when he wanted what he wanted. Made me feel like nothing.
But of course I loved him at the time so I gave him what he wanted.
Within three months of us getting back together he already gave me a ring. Not like one from a candy store but a legit stone. He would talk about marriage and kids and wanting to spend his whole life with me and than things changed. He started to tell me what was wrong with me and telling me things about my body that was not
Perfect and blaming me for
Things that I asked for him to do. My expectations were apparently too high for him to reach. He lived 15 minutes away from me and would complain about driving to see me because I was sad or something else but than go bowling with friends that was a 30 minute drive? That didn't make sense. He would tell me that bringing me flowers were too expensive. And don't get me wrong flowers are expensive but I don't care about the roses or the orchards I told him colored cosmos because they make me happy and smile and he told me that was too much. And the only time he brought me them was when I told him too.
Apparently me going to the er and he tells me he can't drive me or see me because he was not ready for that step in a relationship ? But than after went back to the hookah lodge. He's 23.. Be a man and put your big pants on. He left me sitting in the snow passed out from
Dehydration and sleep and had to tell my dad to pick me up. In the middle of downtown boulder on the hill.
Apparently me asking him to go on a date was too much or just telling me I was beautiful was me asking for a lot and used the excuse of " you don't do that for me". Bull crap!
He was everything I didn't want. Sure he had positive things as well everyone does but this relationship was dead. There was no spark there was nothing.
I'm reserved because I'm scared to open up and give my heart again. I'm scared that me desiring the little things in life like what I see on Facebook or Instagram is too much for someone.
Of course it's not just the guys who need to try but the girls too.
I'm the type of girl who will bring you Taco Bell to work with a love note saying have a good day thinking of you, the kind of Girl
Who will leave a nerf gun at the front door before you come home from work with a note saying " welcome home babe pick up the gun I'll be inside whoever loses gets to make dinner tonight" I'm the type of girl who will love you to pieces and cry because I don't know how to express my
Love. I'm the type of girl who will drive 7888890 miles to see you even for a second.
So yeah you can say I have expectations but that doesn't matter because what matters is what's going on right now and with who and enjoying the moments in life that are given to me.
I'm happy right now and I'm content and appreciate what I have :) this past experience made me stronger and or showed me what I deserved in life 🙈😁😃
