What We Wish For

Chapter 42

Chapter 42

"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." - J.K. Rowling

The ride home from the funeral was quiet. The whole day had been quiet. I had made a little small talk with a few different people but nothing really important. Jake had suggested to drive me home, but I wanted to be there for him tonight. As soon as we got home James said goodnight and disappeared into his own room. Jake and I went to his room in silence.

I went to his closet and found one of his T-shirts before I slowly and carefully took my dress off. I saw Jake look at my body, or more my wounds before he looked away and turned around to walk into the bathroom. I let out a sight as I let the dress drop to the floor before I put his T-shirt on. He hadn’t seen me without clothes on since I was attacked and I had hoped he wouldn’t react like this. I knew he was mad at himself for letting his guard down and not sensing him coming. But truth to be told, we were all so tired and thought it was done that neither of us thought about the possibility of someone waiting on us outside. It was more my own fault than anyone else’s.

I crawled up in his bed and sat there waiting for him to come back. And that was how he found me small 10 minutes later when he re-entered his room, sitting up in his bed with the covers around me.

Jake crawled up and laid down beside me. When I didn’t get down beside him he turned around though and gave me a puzzled look. “We need to talk.” I informed him in a quiet voice.

“Okay.” He let out sounding unsure.

“Jake what you said about your father earlier today.” I started and I could see understanding crossed his face for a brief second, before his wall shut up and all emotions disappeared from his face. “You can’t blame yourself. If it’s anyone’s fault it’s mine for getting you all involved in this.” I argued looking up at him carefully. He sat up slowly with that emotionless face of his still on.

“It’s very sweet of you to try Lea. But he’s dead because I couldn’t be a grown up. I’m supposed to be an Alpha. And I came running to my dad the first time a hard situation comes up. I should have been able to handle it by myself. I should have been able to protect you by myself. Because of me my mum doesn’t have her mate anymore. Because of me my sister lost her dad, my granddad and grandma lost their son and my uncle lost his brother. Because of me the pack lost their Alpha and got a weak one instead.” He rushed out through his teeth.

“Hey listen to me. It’s no shame to ask for help. I know your father asked Louis for help when he first became an Alpha. You can’t blame yourself for his death. If you want to blame anyone blame me. I’m the one who bought you all into this. I should never have told you about all this, I should just have handled it myself. So stop seeing all this as your fault, it isn’t.” When I finished talking his face had completely changed. He went from looking uncomfortable to looking furious.

“How can you even think that you should have kept that from me. And then what? Plan on never telling me? If you were lucky enough to survive? I simple don’t get how you can even think that? It is my job to protect you as your mate. You would never have survived that and then I would have lost you.” He scolded me, his eyes becoming black.

“You wouldn’t have lost me. I should have kept you all safe instead of putting you all in danger. However, look at your dad’s situation like this. If it were your son and his mate some one was after, and you had rouges just outside of your territory, wouldn’t you have gone with them too? You know he would have found out eventually and then he would have been mad at you. Plus if you hadn’t told him about it the pack wouldn’t have been prepared and people would have died in the fire. You did the right thin Jake.” I said slowly and grabbed his hand in mine.