30 Day Writing Challenge (JUNE 2013)

Day 27

Someone I don't like as much as I'd like to? That's a bit confusing but I won't lie. I do have a lot of those. Well, maybe not a lot, but I do have a few that I don't like as much as I believe that they truly deserved.

I don't really want to get personal with a lot of this one, but it's kind of hard... I don't really know who the heck I'm supposed to talk about. I'd talk about my step-sister's boyfriend but that wouldn't really count because I hate him with an absolute passion. A passion that I can't even describe, he's just a crappy person and ugggh, I really wish she didn't settle for him. I don't know what she was thinking, and I so desperately wanted to believe she was strong but the fact that she keeps and did keep going back to him over all these years proves that maybe she isn't. And I worry about her more then she'll ever know...

Anyways, the person I don't like as much as I'd like to...? Uh... um... I'm lost. I knew this one was going to be really hard to do. I think the person I don't like but I know that they kind of deserve for me to at least like them.... well, is my moms boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, he's a really good guy, and he's good for her... But I just really wish that he wouldn't influence so much. It's my life, and I was the backbone of for my brother forever. And it pisses me off how much he controls in my household. As much as I appreciate what he's done and how my mom is probably happy with him... It's just a story that he shouldn't be messing with. He acts if though he knows what I went through, when in reality he's probably only heard my mothers side of the story. Which is stupid because she doesn't even know what I've been through. Not to mention that she can be very selfish and have people pity her in a heartbeat. She lives for it or something and I don't think she really realizes that I can't do that. I don't want pity because pity is shitty. And shitty? It sucks because it's so shitty.

I really just wish he'd back off sometimes. There was this one time where he tried to get mad about me standing up for my brother and my mother started crying. Like big fucking whoop, she started it and not to mention she says things that hurt our feelings, even if it is unintentional. She still shouldn't have been acting like we were the bad guys. It's stupid. It just wasn't justified on my part because my brother did nothing wrong. He's still young and learning. He's bound to make little mistakes, and have attitude issues especially at this age. But they just don't... they don't let us speak, so finally I had enough of tip-toing around his stupid sensitivity and finally said something. Of course, they were pissed but they can't expect me to live in silence, not after keeping silent for so long. No one understands that I could have chosen a better life, I knew what I was giving up with my silence, but as long as the kid was happy... Well, I wouldn't complain. And he was crossing that line. He was crossing a boundary with me, and that boundary is very touchy, he was touching every single bomb in it. It was despicable. As long as you don't cross a line, especially with my very few close ones (the ones in my "Instinctive Family Selection" and blood) I will not blow up in your face. I'm disaster, but I hold it in, but sometimes and eventually it's going to come out.

So yeah, I think that's the person I don't like as much as I'd like to. He was doing fine until he started to cross that one line as if it was okay to run everything. It wasn't, and never will be. Nothing about what they do is justified most of the time because there is no equality. We are the ones forced into silence and obedience. But with that comes a price and I'm afraid that I won't be in touch in the future as much as they'd want. I guess that's just how it goes /: No ones going to listen to what I have to say until it's too late, and by then I know that I won't be around to say "I told you so".

Well, comment and/or vote if you like???? Thanks for reading and sorry for the mistakes, etc.