Lessons from the Road

Don't Start Trouble

To say I was scrawny as a kid would be a bit of an understatement. Tall, lanky, clumsy, not so good at sports. Yeah, that's me. We all know how kids are these days. Well, they were the same back then. I was bullied pretty mercilessly growing up and I really couldn't defend myself. I came home one day crying (and bruised) from getting beat up by a couple of the bigger boys. It happened a lot, now that I think about it. My uncle heard about it and decided to take matters into his own hands – probably at my mother's request. He taught me to fight.

I will always remember the first thing he said to me as we stood face-to-face in my Grandma's yard. "Billy, I'm not teaching you this so you can hurt someone else. I'm teaching you how to defend yourself from others. Don't ever go looking for trouble. But if something starts, be ready to finish it." So he taught me a few things. How to take advantage of a situation (i.e. fighting dirty) in order to make a hole and run away, and how to hold my own if escape wasn't an option – so that maybe the boys would think twice the next time they thought I would be an easy target.

There is a lot of truth there. I get the feeling that there were many times in his youth that Milton did not follow this advice. I think this is the kind of thing that can't really be learned. You gain this perspective through life experience. Through wisdom. As we go through life we are going to face many challenges. Most of these are going to be interpersonal. We deal with other people every single day. Some more than others. Not everyone is going to share your opinion, be your friend or even like you. Life is strife with conflict. The trick to getting through this conflict isn't to start something up but rather to manage it properly. Now this doesn't quite jive with the "dirty trick and run away" scenario, but it does match pretty well with "hold your own." Sometimes you have to fight for what's important to you. For what you believe in. No matter the solution, however, you will have to hold your own. You have to stand your ground. Whether you're the only one standing against many or one of many standing for whatever reason, sometimes all you can do is stand when trouble comes our way. Just stand. The bible says this. So did Mother Abigail in a great Steven King book. He might not have known either of those facts but he tried to teach it to me nonetheless.

Don't start any trouble, but be ready to stand against it.