Chapter Twelve

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This is dedicated to @penguingirl180 because I love reading her comments. I hope she enjoys the rest of the story!

Chapter Twelve


"Haley." Olly's eyes are wide. I can't help but look into them and think of all the memories. "It's good to see you."

"Is it?" The two words slip out of my mouth before I can help it. I clear my throat. "I didn't, er, expect to see you here, Olly." His name is a word I haven't said in a while.

"It's a small town," Olly says. "Everyone comes here when it snows."

"Right," I say. "I was just leaving—"

"Wait—" Olly holds my arm and I can't breathe for a second. It's like he's choking me with his touch. "Austin told me he saw you at Lucy's party."

"Yeah," I say, as if it's no big deal. "We ran into one another."

Olly nods. "How have you been?"

"Fine."

"I've been worried about you."

"Hi," Esmee introduces herself with a smile. I know this smile. This isn't a happy-go-lucky smile, this is a your-ass-is-about-to-get-kicked kind of smile. "I'm Esmee, Haley's friend. Can I tell you something?"

Olly shrugs. "Sure."

"You lost your right to be worried about Haley when you were too much of a coward to step forward." Her index finger jabs in his direction, accusation dripping off her every word. "You watched on the side-lines and saw everything happen. I bet you liked that, didn't you? You had a free cinema ticket and a front row seat to the event of the year, you did your work and took a step back. I have only heard things about you Olly so I don't know you but you've made one hell of an impression." Olly's hands have clenched into fists. He wants to retaliate.

Esmee grabs my hand and pulls me away. "Don't speak to her again," she says. "You've done enough already."


* *


I'm watching the TV but I could as easily be watching a wall because of how far away my thoughts are.

My mind keeps casting back to the snow day and replaying the conversation with Oliver in my head. I hide my face in my hands. Esmee had said everything I'd wanted to but didn't.

Every memory from freshman year flashes passed. I curl up into a ball. I see Abby. Everything I've been hiding from has returned and is and exploding in my brain like a bomb.

There's a knock in my door. Michele gingerly steps in, the first time she's directly looked at me in over a week. I want to smile but I don't.

"Can I come in?" she says.

"Sure."

She closes the door behind her. She sits down and the mattress dips. "I want to talk to you about, you know, what happened last week," she says.

I don't know whether she wants me to apologise or whether she's going to herself. I wait for her to speak.

"Since I woke up," Michele begins, looking at the carpet, "I've been trying so hard to remember. I have, honestly. There's this dam at the back of my brain that I know holds everything but I break it down. I've been trying and I want to remember, I do, but I can't."

"I understand," I say.

"I don't know who I used to be." Michele shakes her head. "But I know who I am now and I'd really like to get to know you, Haley. We're sisters, after all."

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