addiction | namjoon

10

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Toni

Looking in the mirror I gulped.

Today was the day I had to fake it all.

I had killed Namjoon and had to act sad about it.

If I had a choice I wouldn't even go to that bastard's funeral.

Shaking my head I continued getting ready.

Using my eye drops, I was forced to let out tears.

A couple ran down my face and messed up my makeup.

I smiled in satisfaction and continued on.

Finally finishing I looked back at my mirror.

I fixed my hair and put on my black hat.

The lace covered my face enough just in case I lost composure.

My thoughts began to wonder but a honk made them drift away.

I grabbed my black clutch and jacket then walked to the door.

Mentally preparing myself I walked out of my house and to Jin's car.

I got in the passenger seat and looked at him.

His eyes were bloodshot and dark circles made an appearance under them.

His skin was a ghostly pale and tear stains stained his cheeks.

I felt bad for him.

He had lost a very important person in his life.

Shaking my head I silently looked out the window and watched the scenery pass by.

Soon enough we arrived at the funeral.

I saw some of Namjoon's friends and family  there and they rushed over.

They gave me their condolences and we sat in the front row.

I looked ahead and saw the casket.

My feet made me get up and walk towards it.

Looking down at Namjoon's body made me feel ecstatic, yet I needed to pretend to feel deep sorrow.

Immediately I began the waterworks and sniffled every few seconds.

Some of his family members came over and helped me settle down.

"It's okay to cry Toni."

"We all miss him too."

"It'll get better, have faith."

"He would want us to move on."

The words had no effect on me, as I didn't truly care care about the dead man.

He had deserved to die, it was just happened to be me who killed him.

After many speeches, including my fake one, we finally buried Namjoon.

Jin approached me and looked at the grave.

A few fake sobs passed through my lips.

"Toni..."

I hummed in acknowledgment.

"Maybe you should stay with me."

My eyes snapped to him.

"Just in case you feel like joining him."

I knew he was truly talking about himself.

"Of course Jin, I need you to help me."

His arms wrapped around me and his sorrow was suffocating.

I forced my arms around him and sobbed hard.

"Let's go to my house okay."

"Head to the car, I'll be there in a moment.

I want to say goodbye."

Jin nodded and walked to his car.

Looking down at the graves I began to whisper.

"We were much like a dolls in a dollhouse Namjoon.

They all thought that we were perfect.

Yet they never saw what happened behind closed doors.

It sucks that I had to see things that nobody else sees.

Still, I need to keep it that way.

Nobody needs to see what truly happened."

Bye Namjoon.