He's been in the hospital. Even if I try to visit him he's still asleep in his coma but he actually replied to my message. All those messages i sent to him i keep them in my little drafts because messaging him makes me smile.
(the messages from the third chapter)
Jungkook: I miss you
Jimin: Me too
Jungkook: When did they say that you'll be able to leave
Jimin: In a week or tomorrow maybe. I'll surprise you
Jungkook: It's tiring without you here
Jimin: It won't be when I come out to see you Kookie
Jungkook: You still call me Kookie
Jimin: Yeah because if I don't I might miss you more
Jungkook: That's cute
Jimin: You're cute
Jungkook: I have a surprise for you when you come out
Jimin: But its your birthday when I come out
Jungkook: You're more precious to me than myself
It was my birthday but i wasn't looking forward to it that much. I was more excited for him to come out so i could see his bright smile again.
(a week later)
He said he was going to come back. Why hasn't he come at all. I sent him new messages for the past few weeks.
Jimin where are you?
I thought you were going to visit me on my birthday?
Are you still in a coma that's why?
I'm sorry I'm bothering you i just want to see your smile on my birthday
I heard a beep and i smiled widely until i read,
Jungkook, Jimin won't be out for another year which adds up to two years of being hospitalized.
Who's this?
Its Yoongi.
What are you doing there?
We're dating Jungkook. He didn't tell you that?
I dropped my phone. The truth hurts. It hurts like a fucking knife inside stabbing you. Im done with everything. I don't need anybody anymore. Its ok because im used to the lie, the pain, the stress over some guy i've fallen in love with but i haven't told Jimin that. I should've though. Looks like i lost him already. But i won't hurt anymore if i leave right? Finally say goodbye to all this pain.
I don't want to do it but i guess its safe to say when youre hurting this badly all you can do is help yourself with a simple suicide right? But even though hes dating Yoongi why can't i let go of him even after all of this? But it wont hurt me so much if i just say goodbye.
"Arent birthdays full of surprises Jungkook."
My birthday gave me a surprise. A good one as I took the bottle of pills typing a message on my phone.
(message from chapter four)
Jimin you're probably reading this right now and I feel sorry that I couldn't be there the day you came back. I never told anyone but I was hurting a lot. So I helped myself. I know I could've spent my birthday with you. So I left something.
I took the polaroid Jimin once bought me last year on my birthday but looks like this is the last time Ill be using this. I took a picture of me smiling but tears didnt come out. It made a click noise but not all the way for the picture to come out. On the white striped line under the picture i used a line that Jimin always told me, smile.
Even when im about to leave this world i want to say goodbye to Jimin unknowingly. He lied to me about not dating Yoongi saying i was the only one he looked at but the truth hurts and so does the reality. The pills were out. Nothing was left. Just an empty bottle. I left my typed up message and polaroid inside my room and left out the door somewhere no one would know how i suicided myself alone.
