I saw him and thought of you
I was hit with nostalgia
Yearning for the friendship we once had.
His smile mirrored yours, it was beautiful.
I think about you and feel like I'm about to break down.
I'm still wondering what wrong turn we took and how we even got here.
I miss what we once had.
I miss being able to just talk to you.
I miss you actually caring.
Maybe me telling you that I felt more changed the dynamic of us.
Every time I look at a guy with dreads I'm anxious because maybe he'll have your face.
Maybe his voice will sound like yours too
or maybe I'll feel captured once again;
my heart drops until I know it's not you.
I yearn for what once was between us and wonder if you do the same.
I wonder if I cross your mind
or if you miss our friendship or if you've replaced it.
I wonder if in your mind you think that you've fucked up and must get me back.
Does us not talking break your heart too?
Do I come up in conversations? Am I known as "that girl" or "the one who we won't speak of"?
Do you miss me spilling my soul out to you in long text confessions or through poems and music?
Is my face etched in you somewhere?
Does the thought that somewhere later in life we'll fall back into one another's lives comfort you?
I wonder if we'll ever be the same friends who entertained that first conversation about gangs.
If we'll ever be the same people who discussed our dreams
Have you come to a realization about me yet?
Is what you feel still a question mark?
I'm still curious if you feel anything for me.
I'm still trying to get into your head,
to figure you out -
to get your nod of approval.
I want to talk to you, to communicate
but what if you've put us in the past.
What if this friendship of ours, to you, is in the past?
What if it's something you haven't gotten nostalgic about?
Maybe my memory is hazy and maybe I'm not remembering our friendship clearly
And if that's true how come I get so deeply nostalgic about what I had with you?
