twenty: Pre-Marriage Anxiety & Car Fights

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Chapter Twenty: Pre-Marriage Anxiety & Car Fights

Anxiety wasn't quite the right word to describe what I was feeling at the moment. More a feeling of panic was rushing through me like a wave during a hasty storm in the wide sea.

I hadn't seen Zayn all day long, which was supposed to be this way. Well, at least until our limousine would arrive and pick us up to drive us to our location. Which I, just by the way, believed was just a huge unnecessary loss of money. But the Maliks insisted on the pricy car. And the thought, that Zayn did have a little bit of a saying in this wasn't too unbelievable.

Everyone was ready to go by now and just waiting a few more minutes until the car would come to pick the bridal pair up to get in their cars themselves and start driving. Until then Doniya, Waliya, Mia and my cousins accompanied me in my room while Zayn was alone in his room, probably on his phone face timing or texting someone. But I couldn't care less right now.

I just wanted to get over with this.

"I can't believe my little Arisha is getting married. Like, what is this madness. This sounds like some crazy Cinderella story or something," one of my cousins said. If only she knew this was everything but a Cinderella story. Maybe Beauty and the Beast but then again he was undeniably handsome and I wasn't exactly a beauty. Judging by personality it would be true, though.

Doniya looked at me with a encouraging smile on her face making little dimples appear on her full cheeks which were perfectly contoured. Everyone looked so pretty, it was crazy. I couldn't quite realise everything that was happening at the moment.

Suddenly we heard a loud honking of a imaginably huge car and knew it was time now. Time to make our way downstairs and head towards the disaster my life has become and turned out to be. Quickly I pushed these thoughts out of my head and stood up from the stool I was sitting on. The clothing was very heavy and I could only walk very slowly in the high heels I was wearing.

The moment I stepped out of my room, Zayn just happened to step out of his, too and we came face to face for the first time in our whole Nikah attire. He looked too good for my liking. He could have everyone. But got me. And for the first time I realised he might just want this even less than I want this. Because the only one's I did this for were my family, especially my parents. And he, the way I knew him, did this for no one. He just did this because he was forced to, because he had no other option but to do it. That thought made my heart drop to my stomach. My gaze immediately fell to the floor and I heard some of the girls "aww"-ing.

Zayn's eyes on me suddenly felt very heavy and uncomfortable. I turned around to face the girls who gave me some thumbs ups and some even clapped and applauded. Which I couldn't really understand.

Zayn appeared besides me and took my hand in his. It was warm and huge, but surprisingly reassuring and calming. The girl went behind us as we slowly walked down the slippery stairs. He held a strong grip on my hand, trying to prevent me form slipping and falling and possibly dying. Looking at mum and dad I saw some tears and it wasn't any other way on Trisha and Yaser's faces.

They opened the front door for us, exposing us to the bright daylight sun and more importantly the huge, white car, which reflected the sun quite beautifully.

Some neighbours stood outside and started clapping, people I had never seen before, people I had never known. Just clapping for the fact that someone, someone they didn't know, was getting married. How bizarre.

The driver opened the door for us. Zayn let me get in first, acting like a true gentleman for once. Much to my surprise. Quickly I straightened out my clothes and sorted out my hair before he came in next to me without throwing a single look at me. He had a serious, straight, face and if you didn't know him better you'd almost think he was unaffected by everything that was happening. Since I had the luck, though, of knowing him quite well, I noticed his slight anxiety in the way his large hands were shaking (just slightly) and his left leg was jumping up and down. In addition to that his hand uncontrollably squeezed mine every now and then and I couldn't fight the urge to give a squeeze back shortly just to show him that we were both in the same boat.

Once the doors were closed and outside noise slowly faded away with every meter the chauffer drove away we both took a breath at the same time and Zayn's face turned towards me. I still didn't look at him just because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle this right now.

"Arisha, we need to talk, you know that," he started with a deep voice. I didn't want to hear his voice, it made me shake and shiver, which I didn't plan on giving him the power to.

"Arisha," he started again. Without any luck of course.

Suddenly I felt his hand on my cheek and how he slightly pushed my face towards his. And I noticed how close we were and how I wasn't sure how I felt about that. Because I knew I shouldn't and my head clearly had all alarm signs out while my tummy kinda had a mind of its own and I felt literal butterflies in there which I less than appreciated.

"Why are you still mad?" he asked. Did he really want an answer?

"I would tell you if you would actually care"

"Stop that. We're going to marry in a few minutes and you act like a twelve year old!" he scolded. My blood boiled inside of me and I couldn't take it anymore.

"Me? You really have the nerve to call me a twelve year old when you're still hanging onto a teenage crush which will never be returned. And yet you decided on saying yes that day you and your family came to our house to ask for my hand. After you moved to America you changed so much and I didn't notice until the day I met all of you again. I immediately was on the best terms with your family because they loved me and I loved them. But never with you, though. You never appreciated me being in the picture again. And you think I didn't notice that, you think that you are the one to be pitied here having to marry me. Why didn't you just say no? You could've married Mia now or went on with your old habits without any responsibilities."

"But I want to marry you"



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