Chapter 4

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Maybe he’s procrastinating or maybe he just doesn’t trust himself not to make a run for it if he goes back into the car park, but Zayn takes the stairs to the first floor. He should have taken the lift, though, because he gets hopelessly lost and walks up and down half a dozen corridors, past harassed nurses and worn out patients rolling their IV stands with them to the bathroom, before he realises that he isn’t even on the right wing.

He eventually admits defeat and asks for directions, but when he finally sees the sign to the ICU, he has to fight the urge to turn and run. He stops for a second, closing his eyes and pressing his back to the wall as he takes a deep breath. His hands ball into fists in the pockets of his hoodie as he thinks of Harry, of his unruly hair and bright laugh, and the thought of seeing him lying lifeless on a hospital bed is excruciating. But then he thinks about how scared Harry must be and all of a sudden he’s walking again, around the corner and towards the waiting room, his bones shivering with each step.

The first person Zayn sees is Simon and he doesn’t know why, but he didn’t think he’d be there, so feels a fresh punch of panic. Simon’s pacing up and down the corridor as he talks to someone on his mobile and he looks so worried that Zayn almost gives into the urge to turn and run again. But then Simon looks up and when he sees him, he holds up his hand as if he knows that Zayn’s considering legging it and starts walking towards him. He ends the call and when he gets to Zayn, he pulls him into a hug, patting him hard on the back.

‘You okay?’

‘Yeah,’ Zayn says with a sniff, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his hoodie.

Simon puts his arm around Zayn’s shoulders. ‘Do you know what’s going on?’

Zayn shakes his head. ‘I don’t even know what happened.’

‘I don’t know much, either. I just know that there was a scuffle with the paps as Harry was leaving Mahiki last night and he got hit by a black cab.’ Simon must feel Zayn sag because he holds him closer. ‘He’s going to be okay,’ he says, lowering his voice.

‘How do you know, though?’

‘Because he has to be.’

Zayn nods and wipes his nose again. ‘Can I see him?’

‘He’s in surgery.’

Zayn’s heart stops. ‘What for?’

‘They won’t tell us much because we’re not family, just that he’s in surgery, but they’re all on their way.’ He checks his watch. ‘Gemma just texted to say that they should be here in about an hour so we’ll know more then.’

‘Where’s Niall?’

‘Paul’s gone to get him.’

Zayn blinks at him. ‘From Ireland?’

‘No. No. He was in London last night.’

‘Okay.’ Zayn nods. ‘So what do we do?’

Simon gestures at the waiting room. ‘We wait.’

When he opens the door for Zayn, the first person he sees is Louis, who’s sitting in the corner, drinking a cup of tea from one of those flimsy vending machine cups. He gives Zayn a filthy look and looks away, his jaw clicking as he fusses over his hair. If it was any other day, it might have hurt, but Zayn doesn’t have the will to care about anyone other than Harry. Until he sees Nick, that is, and his heart starts thumping.

‘‘The fuck are you doing here?’ he spits, pulling away from Simon.

‘I’m so sorry, Zayn,’ Nick says, standing up.

Simon doesn’t let him finish. ‘You need to leave,’ he tells him, pointing at Nick, then at the door, and as soon as he does, Louis is on his feet.

‘What did you do?’ he says, suddenly in Nick’s face and Zayn’ll be fucked if that isn’t Louis, furious at him one minute then ready to throw down for him the next. It’s easy to forget that sometimes, when Louis’ being a surly asshole, how fiercely loyal he is, but Zayn knows that in that moment, it’s forgotten as Louis squares up to Nick.

‘It wasn’t me, Lou. It was Harry.’

‘You’re a fucking liar,’ Zayn tells him, stepping forward, but then Simon’s arm is around him, tugging him back. ‘You were the one feeding him shots all night!’

Louis looks horrified. ‘You were at Mahiki last night?’

‘It wasn’t my fault, Lou.’

Nick puts his hands up and Zayn watches the colour drain from Louis’ cheeks as he turns to look at him. ‘What did he do?’ When Zayn bites his lip and shakes his head, Louis turns to Nick again. ‘What the fuck did you do?’ he asks, his voice not as steady.

But before Nick can answer, a woman stands up.

‘Excuse me,’ she says, and when Zayn turns to look at her, he has to look away again because she looks exhausted, the skin around her eyes raw from crying and a tissue balled in her fist. ‘Can you do this somewhere else? My husband’s just died and I need a minute of quiet to catch my breath before I have to go in there and say goodbye.’

‘I’m so sorry,’ Zayn says, his cheeks burning, and when he looks down at the little boy crying in the seat next to hers, he’s sure he’s going to be sick again.

Simon herds them out into the corridor as Niall comes running around the corner, followed by Paul. ‘I turned my phone off,’ he says, out of breath, his face red.

Louis doesn’t even see him as he shoves Nick. ‘What did you do?’

‘You need to leave,’ Simon tells him again, getting between them as Liam runs towards them, the tea from the plastic cups he’s holding spilling over his knuckles.

Then Zayn’s surrounded, Niall asking him what’s going on and Louis tugging at the front of his hoodie, trying to get Zayn to look at him as he asks what happened at Mahiki, but Zayn can’t take his eyes off Nick who doesn’t look sorry in the slightest.

‘I’m not going anywhere,’ he says, putting his hands on his hips. ‘Harry’s my friend and I have as much right to be here as anyone.’

‘Fine. I’ll go,’ Zayn says, shrugging Louis off and walking up the corridor. He hears footsteps behind him, but doesn’t turn around. ‘Liam, don’t.’

He doesn’t.

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