One Step Closer (BoyxBoy) [Short Story]

Chapter Three - That Boy

Nazlanmak:

(n.) Pretending reluctance or indifference when you are actually willing or eager; saying no and meaning yes.

Chapter Three - That Boy

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I don't remember the last time that I really cared about something or someone, or the last time I felt something else than sadness and pain. But I haven't been able to think of anything or anyone else than him, Jamie.

He made me feel and think and genuinely feel remorse for robbing his father. He didn't even do anything extraordinary! He just stood there and he didn't do anything except from being brave, and stupid, but he was the first person ever to say something else than; 'Please let me live!'

He threw me of guard when he decided to stand there and demand things of me and I can't help but feel disgust to myself for letting him fool me like that.

Something inside of me wants him close to me, wants something from him that no one else was ever really able to give me. I want him to be with me, with his heart and soul, but that's simply impossible.

He would never love me and even if he would, what then? I would still live on the streets and steal my food and drinks from places all over town and he would sleep in a warm place and buy all his stuff like normal people do.

But he will never love me, who would love some idiot with a gun who lives on the streets? I guess no one.

The bag full of things, of souvenirs, that his father had packed for me I had left at the store together with half of the money. I would never have a chance if he would know that I kept the things I had stolen from them.

From the other side of the street I look towards the small souvenir shop, the big 'open' sign shining brightly in the window. The man behind the counter, Jamie's dad, had a big smile on his face when he found all the stuff I had left there. And it made me feel good for just a little bit of time, but then it dawned to me that I wouldn't have food and drinks to live from.

I don't know how long I sit here, staring at the people that walk in and out of the shop all with small bags in their hands. They're all the same.

Not in the way they look or talk, no in the way they spend money. They go on expensive trips, buy expensive souvenirs and walk out of there as if it's nothing. As if it's normal to have a place to stay and food and drink to live from. They don't even think about it for a second, and neither would I have if I had the same priveleges.

But one of them is different and it makes my heart beat faster when he walks into the store, a smile on his face. I notice the little things about him. How he walks with a small wavering and how he pulls his sleeves a bit more down so he doesn't have to wear mittens.

I can only admire him for a couple of seconds before he disappears into the store, his looks and movements still imprinted in my thoughts.

A hand on my shoulder snaps me from my thoughts and a scowl appears on my face as I see Marco's body blocking my view.

"Since when aren't you stealing things, but just sitting here staring at nothing?" He asks me with genuine curiosity.

"I'm not just staring to nothing!" I protest immediately and a small smile appears on his face.

"What's her name?" He asks me knowingly and I am so tempted to punch him in his face.

"It's a HIM! Leave me alone I am not doing anything wrong." He slowly slides down next to me and in any other occasion I would have walked away, but that would mean that I wouldn't be able to see Jamie.

"Go talk to him, Ethan." He says before pushing me off of the bench and pointing towards their shop. I hesitate, why would he want to talk to me? But then again, it's not like I have anything to lose.

I slowly walk towards the shop and I wait just around the corner so I won't be recognised, behind me Marco is still sitting on the bench with a small, almost proud smile plastered in his face.

I am tempted to turn around and walk back to him to kick him in his nuts, but right on the moment I turn around the door of the shop opens and Jamie walks outside.

Before I can change my mind I take a step forward and take his arm in my hand so he can't walk away. A surprised gasp leaves his mouth and he turns around immediately.

The moment he sees me he seems to let his tough guy mask cover him and he pulls his arm from grip.

"What do you want?" He asks me in a harsh tone and I almost regret my decision of talking to him.

"I-I just want to... to ask you something but I don't know really um, I will go now," I say while turning around and walking away from him. But before I can get far I hear him calling out to me.

"Wait Ethan, right? Come here." His voice is still steady, but it doesn't sound as intimidating as before. I turn around and slowly walk towards him again.

A surprised squeak leaves my mouth when he suddenly throws his arms around me and pulls me closer to his body, his smaller form crushing me against him. It's been a while since I have hugged anyone, it feels so nice.

"Why are you hugging me?" I ask him, a bit of embarrassment slipping into my voice.

"You looked like you needed one," he says while slowly letting go of me and a small smile appears on my lips, he makes me feel.

I just stare at him for a while, taking in his beautiful form again in case I'll never see him up close after today.

"Do you want to eat something with me?" He asks me while pointing towards the Italian restaurant on the corner. And I can't help but let the biggest smile overtake my normally sad expression.

"I would love to!"

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A/N: Thank you for reading and supporting this story!!
Please let me know what you think by leaving a comment or vote! ^^

~Noortje