A Gentleman's Guide to Hooking Up

r u l e # 7

Rule #7 Wake up. There's no dating future.

Back out as soon as one of you starts to develop feelings. You have no right to get upset that she doesn't want the same things that you do, doesn't introduce you to her parents, doesn't allow you to stay the night or that she doesn't invite you for breakfast. Respect her boundaries and don't push it.

When you start to fall for your partner, it's game over.

......

Jake's erection went right away. However, that was a small consolation considering the situation he had landed in.

What would his friends do? If Sean were to meet the girl's parents, he would most definitely be in a neatly pressed dress shirt with a tie, and ten minutes after meeting him they would beg him to marry their daughter already, especially when they learned of his acceptance to MIT. Dylan, on the other hand, would probably make a desperate attempt to get away, even if he had to jump out of the window. If her dad were to stop him and raise a fist, Dylan wouldn't hesitate to fight back.

But Jake wasn't like either of them, which was why he found himself seated at the breakfast table, feeling like he was sitting on a mat made of pointy needles.

It was a big, round table in a brightly lit dining room, with a folding screen on one side that blocked the view from the living room, and a large fish tank on the other side. Jake felt like a prisoner brought in for questioning, so he counted the fish as a method of calming himself.

There were nine in total—some kind of goldfish, eight red ones and a lone black one. Their fins looked like flags in the wind as they swam around in the water.

"That's for good fortune," Mrs. Jiang explained, following his gaze. "Water attracts the energy of wealth and fish means abundance."

"We don't have fish at our house," Jake said. "No wonder my dad's not making any money."

Nobody smiled. Jake shifted in his seat.

"My mom is the only one that believes that feng shui nonsense," Jessica's younger sister, Michelle, said. Upon meeting him, she had simply smirked and glanced side way at Jessica, shaking her head and making tsking sounds. Jake could tell already that this young girl was going to give him hell. "See that black fish there? It's supposed to neutralize negative energy and ward off evil spirits, just like the folding screen there, but look, an evil spirit seemed to have gotten in through Jessica's room anyway." She smiled angelically at him.

Jake coughed.

"Jessica, we'll have a fish tank placed in your room as soon as possible," Mr. Jiang said with a straight face. "Can't have any weak corners." It seemed like a joke, but with him, Jake honestly couldn't tell.

Jessica pushed a hand through her hair and started talking in Mandarin. She appeared to be as uncomfortable as he was.

"Let's speak English in front of Jake," Mr. Jiang said. "And don't be dramatic. This isn't a Hong Men yen."

Whatever it was, it sounded scary. Jake threw a pleading glance her way, and Jessica cleared her throat. "It's a historical event about a feast thrown in a place called Hong Men. There was a conqueror who invited his enemy for dinner, during which the best food and wine was served, but he planned an assassination by having one of his generals perform a sword dance. The sword would miss 'by accident' and slit the throat of his enemy, who was as helpless as a fish on a cutting board," she said. "Now we use the phrase Hong Men yen to describe something with a masked ill intention."

Michelle grinned at him from across the table. "Frankly, it means a dinner party intended to kill the guests. Do you watch Game of Thrones? It's a little like the Red Wedding," she said helpfully.