You came back

Dad forgive me

Jamie drove them to Sunday dinner, they planned to tell Dad and Grandpa today. Danny had found out on Friday and was still adjusting. He had forgiven Joe and they were on track to repairing their relationship.

Joe however kept thinking about the morning. He had woken up very nervous, and it showed when he drank his tea and his hands kept shaking, while holding his mug. "You're going to be fine. Dad hasn't held a grudge in years, and he won't be too mad. I think he's going to be relieved." Jamie pointed out.

"Relived?!? Why the hell would he be relieved?" Joe asked.

"That would be because he has blamed himself for your death, for years. To find out you are alive, he will stop feeling so guilty and he will truly smile again." Jamie replied, explaining things a bit.

"I can't remember what Dad's smile looks like. He lost it when Mom died." Joe noted.

"He was starting to get it back, then you died. Finally he gave up trying, because he figured 'What's the point, if someone else I love will be ripped away from me.'. Also he fears I'm next.... I don't know why, Eddie always has my back." Jamie commented.

"Think of it like this... When I 'died' Dad became more protective of the children he had left. You being the youngest, got the most of that protective nature of his. He might tone it down when he finds out I'm alive." Joe explained.

"I sure hope so. Last month I had an accident at work and burned my arm on some hot coffee. Totally normal thing, that could happen to anyone. I show up with a bandage on my arm, and he flew into a panic. Honestly, I love Dad, but Mom wouldn't want him to be like this." Jamie sighed.

"Mom wouldn't have been pleased, with what I put him through either though, if we are being perfectly honest here. I made him really suffer and I deeply wounded him. Mom, if she were still alive, would have probably gave me grief about this, and she would have had every right to." Joe said.

"Oh you know she would have found some way to punish you, then forgive you like I don't know... an hour later. Mom was quick to forgive." Jamie commented.

"I hope he doesn't let me off easy. I wouldn't let me off easy." Joe said.

"You haven't eaten." Jamie noted when he looked down at Joe's full, untouched plate.

"My stomach is spinning." Joe stated plainly.

"You still have to eat. If you won't eat, I'll have to feed you gravol. You always hated when Mom fed you gravol." Jamie said in a firm voice.

"Okay okay, I'll eat something." Joe said and took a bite of his waffles. "Hey, these are really good. Why do they taste like Dad's?" Joe asked.

"Dad's recipe. He made waffles the best and he shared the recipe with all of us after you passed away." Jamie replied.

"Do you think Dad will let me have the recipe?" Joe asked.

"No. He's going to want you come over often, so he can make them for you." Jamie replied.

"I'm missing clothes. A lot of my NYPD gear and my sweater with my shield number on it. Also missing my NYPD rock in roll t-shirts. Those were big when I first started. I'll give you one. I think I have 4 of them." Joe commented.

"Let's not forget jeans. I think the closet is full at Dad's, in your old room. I never had the strength to look in there. I knew my heart would shatter if I did." Jamie said.

"Dad kept my clothes?" Joe was curious about this.

"He didn't have the heart to truly let go. None of us did." Jamie explained.