Winter break /c.h\

Chapter 24

Hey I haven't left a note in a while. You see naked 5sos, yeah me too. Hot damn. Okay so happy new year bye

I woke up the next day, significantly less high than I was when I went to bed. This meant, I was significantly more upset than I was when I went to bed. My head was pounding, my eyes were burning, and my throat was raw, all from crying.
My phone had been blown up. Calls and texts from all of them, but mostly Cal. I clicked on one of his voicemails and pressed the phone to my ear.
"Hey baby.." A small hiccup came from him, he was crying "I'm so sorry. I love you. That girl meant nothing to me. I was drunk and..." He stopped to sniffle "I'm just really sorry baby. I love you so much. Please call me back or text me or something. I just want to talk to you"
I hit the end button, not wanting to listen to the rest of them. I went to my texts and avoided his texts, but looked at everyone else's.
Grace. He didn't mean it. Come back and talk to him -Luke
You want me to come over? -Elly
I'm going to kill him -Kai
Gracie. I know what he did was wrong. But he didn't mean it. He was drunk. Like that thing that happened with me in San Fran. Come back please. Talk to him -Ashton
That was a dick move. I'm going to hurt him for you. I love you and I'm sorry for what he did -Mikey
I read them all and put my phone down, only to hear it chime again, and to pick it back up.
I saw you read my text. Don't ignore me Grace -Mikey
Sorry -Grace
Don't say sorry to me. Are you okay? -Mikey
No. Not really -Grace
I'll be there in 5 minutes -Mikey
I pushed myself out of bed and grabbed the empty Chinese container off the ground, throwing it in the bathroom garbage can. I got in the shower, knowing he didn't mind cause he'd come right in anyway.
I knew that I was aloud to cry in front of Mikey, not that I was going to, but it wouldn't hurt. I decided to just cry in the shower, at least then, no one could tell.
"Grace?!" I heard him yell
"Showering!" I yelled back, sounding a little weaker than I intended.
"Okay. I brought food" that gave me the motivation to get out faster. I grabbed my towel and went into my room with it wrapped around me, digging in my drawer for comfortable clothes that weren't Cal's. "Hey. Whoa sorry" Mikey's voice came from the door and turned to see him, hands covering his eyes.
"Mikey. It's whatever, it's not like we've never been swimming"
"But you're like naked under that"
"Yeah whatever. I don't really care" I grabbed pair of soccer pants an oversized T-Shirt. "Well now I kind of care..." I turned around, laughing
"Yeah. I'll be out there" he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him and I dropped the towel, throwing the clothes on my still damp body. I didn't even bother brushing my hair before throwing it into a messy, soaking bun and walked out into the living room. His dark hair was peaking over the top of the couch and I went and sat next to him.
"Hi" he said quietly
"Hey"
"I brought pizza" he pointed at the box on the coffee table
"Thanks" I leaned forward and pulled the whole box onto my lap, pulling out a piece for me and him.
"You okay?"
"No. Not at all"
"He's an asshole. Don't worry about him okay? He'll come crawling back, apologizing to you...but you don't have to take him back. That was stupid and you don't have to forgive him"
"I know" my lice came out small and unsure
"You sound apprehensive still" his worried eyes fixed on the side of my head, as I continued to eat my slice of pizza.
"Yeah I am. I've never been away from, like at, for more than like two days. That goes for all of you, I don't think I can actually handle being alone."
"You're not alone Grace. I'm here. You still have all the rest of the guy and Kai and Elly"
"I know, but he gave me the stupid promise ring. We were talking about our future together and then he just threw it away...why'd he do that Michael!?" Rage tears started falling from my eyes, so I just the pizza back onto the table, and cried into my hands. His hand instinctively went to my hunched back and started rubbing  circles.
"I'm sorry. I know, he was an asshole for that, but I know he can't live without you either, so it's only a matter of time. You hear me? Everything will be okay."
"And what if it's not Mikey!? What do I do then?"
"Then we're here to help you get through it" I knew he was trying to help, but it wasn't really working. It was just nice, but to be alone. I sat up and leaned my body into his, his arm going around my shoulder, awkwardly, to pull me into a side hug.
"Thanks for coming Michael."
"Why wouldn't I have come?"
"I don't know...but thank you"
"You're very welcome"
We stayed there on the couch like that, close, eating cold pizza, watching Bob's Burgers, until he had to go. I was afraid to spend the night by myself. At least the night before I was, heavily, under the influence and that helped me sleep, but tonight, I was just alone with my thoughts, which sucked.
I sat in bed, my back against the bed-frame, scrolling through my phone. I scrolled through Twitter, went on Instagram, and cleaned out my Tumblr dash, but I still had time with my thoughts and it was just bad.
What if he never came back? What would I do? I had gotten used to the apartment having more than just me, having someone in bed with me. How was I going to function. But then I thought about it. Calum was a big part of my life, I loved him no matter what, but he wasn't the determining factor of my happiness. I had to be my own person. I needed to depend on myself, no one else.
How was your night? -Mikey I didn't even realize that it actually was morning. I had stayed up all night, pondering all of my thoughts.
Didn't sleep -Grace
I figured. How's your mood? -Mikey
Eh -Grace
I figured that too. Wanna do something today? -Mikey
Not really. Sorry -Grace
It's cool. I understand that. Don't stay in bed all day though, okay? -Mikey
Okay. I won't -Grace
I was probably lying, but that was okay, what he didn't know, wouldn't hurt him.
I actually did get out of bed, trying to make sure that I kept my mind busy. I pulled out my math book and look through it for a bit, then went in search of food. There's was still pizza so I grabbed that and I downed it, washing it down with a full monster in less than 10 minutes.
I was going out and I was going to look good. He was going to regret what he did. He was going to come crawling back to me.
I curled my hair lossy and did my eyeliner, adding a perfect wing. I grabbed a maroon crop top and put on a pair of black shorts, with rips in them. I pulled my maroon, Skate-Hi, Vans on too and grabbed my phone. Where was I going to go? Whatever I did, I wanted to do it alone. 
I grabbed my keys off of the dresser and got into my car. I sat there for a second, then started driving. I drove to the bar. It was 1 in the afternoon, but I needed a drink.
The security turned away when he saw me and let me in no problem. Normally, I wouldn't come here alone, especially after what happened the last time we came, but I didn't care. I ordered a Redbull and Vodka and sat at the bar on my phone. It stung going down my throat, but it was well needed. J was feeling the buzz already, even after just a couple sips. I downed the rest, ordered a beer and laid my head into the bar. I needed to get someone to pick me up, but I couldn't see my phone. "Here!" I shoved my phone at the bartender. "My password is 0-8-0-1. Call Mikey for me. Tell him I need a ride." All my words were slurred, but he understood and called.
He handed me my phone back and I laid my head back on the counter.
After what felt like forever, a hand fell on my shoulder and I turned around.
"Mikey!!" I threw myself at the person "I'm so glad you're.. You're here" I pulled away smiling like a goon, but it immediately faded, when I saw the face staring back at. "Calum"
"Someone called me to come get you"
"No. I wanted Mikey"
"Sorry. Grace I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
"Stop Calum. I'm way too drunk for this. I don't wanna hear it right now okay?"
"Can I at least take you home?"
"Fine whatever" I went to get up, but my whole body had been effected by the alcohol and I almost fall. He caught me and I had to take the help, there was no way I could make it to the car any other way. I held onto his shoulder and stumbled to the car. It was Luke's car, so I guess that's where he was staying, at Luke's. I climbed in the front seat and leaned my head against the window. He got in the drivers seat and say there for a second.
"Are you going to buckle?"
"Oh, uh, yeah" I pulled the buckle onto my lap and leaned my head against the window again. He started driving and I looked over at him. His eyes were sunken in, like he hadn't slept. His hair was disheveled and his clothes were all wrinkled. I suddenly started feeling my stomach churning and at first, I thought it was just sadness, but then I realized it was the alcohol coming back. "Pull over"
"Why?"
"JUST PULL OVER" I opened my door when he pulled over and hopped out, barely missing my shoes with a vomit splatter. His hand ended up on my back and I just stood there hunched over, panting heavily.
"It's okay baby. It's okay. Breath" hearing him cal me baby killed me, I turned and threw myself into him, dampening his shoulder with my tears.
"I'm sorry Grace. I'm so sorry"
"Calum. Shut up"
"I'm sorry" he pulled me away and looked me square in the face "I'm sorry, okay? I'm really sorry. I can't lose you babe. I was a mess without you." I just shook my head, I couldn't say anything. "Okay I have a water bottle" he reached into the car and grabbed a half drank water bottle, handing me it without he cap. I rinsed my mouth out fast and looked at him again.
"I want to go home"
"I do too"
He drove us home and stayed in the car after I got out.
"Are you coming in?"
"Can I?"
"I need someone to take care of me" I was in no condition to be alone
"Okay"
He helped me get to my room and I laid down face first in my bed, grumbling loudly.
"I hate alcohol"
"Yeah. Okay I'll be in the living room if you need me"
"No!" I flipped over fast, regretting it immediately because it churned my stomach too much. "Stay in here with me"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I may be mad at you, but I still need you here"
"Okay" he laid down next to me, keeping some distance
"You don't have to be so far from me. I'm not forgiving you. I mean I'm mad, but I need you. Obviously, I'm a mess too" I explained, pulling on his arm to make him come closer. He scooted over and I cuddled up into him. "I missed you"
"I missed you too" his hand fell on my head and he started twirling my hair "Baby, I'm sorry. I was drunk and I know that's not a good excuse, but it's the only one I have. She didn't mean anything to me, I love you so much. I should've pushed her away, right away. I don't know what was going on in my head. I just.. I love you a lot and I'm sorry. I can't lose you, I'm a mess without you. "
"I know Calum"
"I'm sorry"
"I know"
"Okay. Do you forgive me?"
"Not yet" I turned my chin on to look at him. I leaned up and pressed my lips gently against his. "Still not yet, but better" I laughed, sliding down again.
"Go to sleep babe. I'm here"