Unthinkable

Chapter 22~ Let me Understand

A/N
So I know it's been awhile & I'm so sorry for that..... & this chapter is kinda short and doesn't exactly get to a point but I promise you I'm forming a good idea that I'm going to start writing now. You guys my hate me at the end of this story idk yet. But I love you guys for all the support that's helped continue this story. Hope I haven't lost too many readers.... enjoy :)
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It's toddlers, like Finn, that can make even what would usually be the dullest image to you, the brightest.

I realize this when I'm walking home with Finn in my arms. The now just barely three year old seems rather heavy to my frail arms, but I don't complain. After a few moments of walking he squeals and begs to be let down. I do as told and he immediately takes off in a quick sprint for a toddler. I frown and curse under my breath not realizing what he's doing until he halts at a bundle of familiar flowers.

"Hey Catnip! Look!"

I chuckle slightly despite the tears held captive in my grey eyes that I do not dare let go of for Finn's sake. But I can't help but feel some delight in the nickname for me he picked up off Gale the last time he saw us at our toasting. For a moment, I forget what these flowers resemble to me and the somberness they usually bring.

"C'mon, downnn!" he begs, pleading me to lean down to him.

I do as told, kneeling so we are eye to eye. Just then, he plucks a flower from the bundle and I close my eyes as he gently slides its stem behind my ear so that it is popping out from my hair.

"Pwetty," he says, his three year old voice failing to pronounce the word correctly.

I would love to tell little Finn what these flowers are called just to better his knowledge, but I know I'll completely breakdown at the name and he nor I can handle that. So I just lift him back into my arms and continue to walk home.

~

After Finn had a very fun and playful time and I had a very tiresome one, Gale comes home from work. It's as if Finn completely forgets all the hours I'd just spent with him. He runs straight into Gale's open arms and is lifted into the air. I have to admit that I'm jealous of how good Gale is with kids. To be honest, he never really seemed like the type to be particularly good at that kind of thing. But I guess all those years of growing up in a house full of kids, he learned how to love them more than I did. All I had was Prim . . . and I guess I focused more on the protective part of having a kid than the loving one sometimes.

"I'm so worn out!" I complain, Gale's eyes flicker from giggling Finn's to mine.

"Oh yeah? That makes two of us," he exclaims. Suddenly, I feel a little selfish for saying that. All I've had to do is watch a kid and Gale has been at work all day and his work I know is one million times harder than the job I took on today.

"I'm sorry," I say bluntly. Gale lays little Finn on the couch and tickles him for a second. At first I think he might just ignore me, but once he's sat down cuddled up with Finn and turned on some cartoons for him, he looks up at me from the couch.

"For what?" he asks, his tone, I sense, being a little bit snappy.

"Just . . . I don't know, being selfish. I'll take care of the little monster, you go on to bed."

"It's only 7:00 right now Catnip, I'll survive."

I sigh and sit down on the other side of Finn. Finn is so small that I can still lean far enough to lay my head on Gale's shoulder. I then feel a gentle kiss on the top of my head before he lays his head on top of mine. Our arms are wrapped around Finn and it almost feels like we're wrapped in each other's. I decide that I like having Finn between us . . . it almost feels like something in our hearts that has been empty is now full, it's weird. I start to wonder if having a kid wouldn't be so bad. After all, although it was tiring, I did have fun with Finn today. But I remind myself that it's only the beginning of his stay and I can't jump to conclusions.