Too New To "Step-Ahead"

#ONE

Seriously, no.

En-o,
No.

NO! I mean, how can you fall into a  like that. And I'm not really kidding when I say "pit like that."

Because that's what it is.

Love is a pit. A dark pit where you can't see anything at all; here's where "love makes you blind/love is blind" does make its cool entrance. And if, by any chance, there's any light..
Well that'd be cause you my friend, are all the way down with love,

Love loves you, dude.

Woke up pretty negative didn't we? Today's feels are pretty..disgusting, shooh.

And yup, inspirational inner voices aren't really helping this morning, when I find myself texting one of my best friends, Olivia Becker. Now prepare yourself for an insane routine of eye-rolling due to me, being "such a drama-queen," as Olive previously stated.

The thing is, she doesn't understand.

But that doesn't keep her from trying, ranger over there, ya see? AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO GET OVER YOURSELF?! Get a grip lady cause being a drama-queen won't fill you up.

And ya, I'm a masochistic cow, judge me.

"Hello???????????"

"Yeah sorry, the cow spaced out, heh:(..anyways, I don't think I..I can do this. I mean, it's just been some months ago, the wound's kinda fresh you know..and rubbing some salt over it could be the last choice..-.-"

"Well I bet you cow, know that is not what I intend. But what you're doing right now is way much worse than a salty fresh wound. You're being a coward, Tay. I love you and that's why I'm telling you this. You've got to stop, I mean..it's immature in some way."

"But Olive..!"

"Whuuuuuut now cow."

"Oh seriously..whatever. What if it happens again? What if they leave. What if I end up heart broken..wait no, shattered! I can't got through that pain again..man do you even know how it feels? You feel betrayed, lonely, it makes you feel like you're not worth it, like no one will ever really love you, and it makes you insecure..no. No way, nope as in ever dude e-em."

Oh why, the cow's really a COWard.

"Aw Tay, I don't really know how it feels to be heart broken, but I've seen you and it's enough for me to know I wouldn't like to go through it, but I saw something in the middle of that too, and there was and is hope. And you know what? There's no way the squad is sshowing up with a defeated soldier to school next week baby, not because of what people say, but because we believe in what we believe, and I think you've forgotten about that, that love is not a pit, love is not dungeons and ugly, heart breaking, hopeless feels. And you know why? Because God is love! And you perfectly know He is nothing like that. This, is what we want to get through your smart brain once again. Please, just please get back to the place you were at. Run to His arms and get over those events, the present won't be the same as the past, just ig you let it, 'cause it's all up to you."

...
Did you hear that blast? It was my mind, mind-blowing.

Okay it's all set, that got my heart.

The truth is, I've known all this time, that I'm doing the wrong thing here, but I'm in some sort of denial, a very comfortable denial, where I don't wanna move on because somehow I like the pity, I like to stay sitting in front of my window, staring like a dummy at whatever thing outside, thinking, about how they have stepped all over my heart, and they haven't even noticed or cared, shedding one or two tears, and thinking, that I may not ever like someone again.
↑
Yup, lamer than lame.
But mainly, because I'm scared.
I'm scared to get hurt again, and not just hurt, more like traumatizedly heart broken..I've got a story, a story with making friends, and not just friends, friends that don't care about sweat, friends that eat like there's no tomorrow, friends that burp, friends that fart, friends that have a thing for triceps and biceps cause if you don't have them then what are you doing with your life, friends that may play some really thug joke in you but forget the rage in minutes, friends that kill the female society with simple glares, at times.
Friends called stuff like
John, Jake, Jason, Justin, Jared, Jack, Jackson, Alfred, Peter, Chandler, Andrew, Bernard, Christian YOU GET ME SIS.

BOYS.

And for the flying pony named Nelson,
beware of them.

♧♤♢  ♤♧♢  ♢♧♤  ♧♢♤  ♡♡

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY GUYS.
I FINALLY, FINAAALLY, posted some stuff *wink wink*.
I've been lost in Narnia so I couldn't publish neither could I buy any gifts for you babes so I brought you this story..GRAB IT YOU. GRATEFULLY!! I know it's better than anything you received (lol not).
NOW as you are all extremely thankful because of such a gift, I don't even need to ask you to:
VOTE↑
COMMENT↓√☆
SHARE→;)
bruh I'd bet my cat you already did that..*if I had one*..

SO I'LL STOP BORING YOU WITH ANNOYING A/Ns and leave you be.

Lots of love, Have you in my prayers, Wish you a blessed life and heart!! 
BYE BYE HAWAII!!

P.S. I'm not in Hawaii...just in case anyone wanted to know D':